UofT Law’s WASP of the Year is, without a doubt, Bhuvana Sankaranarayanan. Now I know what you are thinking: Bhuvana isn’t white, Anglo-Saxon or Protestant.
Her 23-letter ethnic name alone should automatically disqualify her from this contest. But I assure you, Bhuvana is 100% WASP; she is simply discreet about it. Her real name is not Bhuvana Sankaranarayanan.
That name is an anagram to disguise her real identity: Anna R. Ava Hanna Ray au Banks. That’s right; ‘Bhuvana’ is a member of the famous Banks Family of Bel Air. She just keeps it a secret to fit in with us plebeians here at UofT law.
Not only is ‘Bhuvana’ of a WASP background, but she also enjoys a variety of WASPy activities.
Although she does not play golf, her favourite sport is debate, which she participates in regularly as a member of the Canadian University Society for Intercollegiate Debate.
Debate is a much more WASPy ‘sport’ than golf, because while both involve overdressed pretentious white people one-upping each other in a field nobody else cares about, those who debate are even more unbearably smug when they win.
‘Bhuvana’ also spends a considerable amount of time mocking the Occupy Wall Street movement and the notion of wearing sweatpants to school, and suggests that UofT’s high tuition may be justified (to increase financial aid, she says in a – WASPy – condescending way, but we know that it’s really just to keep the common folk out).
So, UofT Law, the choice is quite obvious. Our biggest WASP is none other than a brown, Tamil, non-Protestant girl.
