With Summer nearly upon us, we believe it is time for our annual (but not actually annual) column on summer fashion tips for various types of (un)employment. Please follow the exact suggestions outlined below. Except if your Drew Valentine, in which case just wear black, no matter what. Black on black on black, whaaaaaatttttt!
Bay Street Fashion: Whether you’re a 1L precocious and silly enough to spend your summer after 1L working for a firm, or a 2L desperate for cash and job security, or just a person that wants to fit in at Ki or O&B Cafe, you should be dressing for success. For the men, wear a suit, with a nice crisp shirt and a tie that allows you to show some personality. Iron your shirts, shine your shoes, and shave that god damn scruff. This will serve you 4 out of the 7 days a week you will be working.
For the women, pantsuits are acceptable, but why the fuck you would wear pants when you can wear a skirt in the summer is beyond me. Its going to be hot! (Am I referring to the weather or the skirt? You tell me.) Shortsleeved and sleeveless tops are your best friends, but as always, to maintain your dignity, avoid anything low cut. If you’re fashionable enough to pull it off, throw on a silk scarf, a broach or a trendy hair accessory – but not too trendy. You don’t want to be that girl.
For all of you, men included, a healthy dose of foundation to hide the eye circles and hangovers will be necessary.
Research Assistant: Wear whatever you want! But if you really want to impress, wear khakis and a sweater vest to complete the look of someone who is going to spend all day every day in Bora communing with a carrel. Don’t dress sloppy, because your carrel will become your life partner and they expect a certain level of dress or they won’t charge your laptop or let you flick their switch to turn their lights on. That’s right, library carrels have feelings too. So don’t let them down.
Public Interest: Dress like you’re a member of Occupy Wall Street that has discovered the joys of modern plumbing. Dressing like a hippie is fine, but don’t smell like one. DOS: Shorts, flip flops, v-necks, tank tops, sundresses, baseball caps, boat shoes, caring. DON’TS: Suits, sweaters, aggressive attitude (this isn’t Bay Street!), conservative politics.
Volunteering abroad: Whatever the local fashion dictates. We don’t want to necessarily get you in trouble, so make sure to follow the lex loci.
Non-Law: Well this should be obvious. Dress like the job dictates. If you’re working at summer camp, you wear whatever you want. If you’re working for a bank, you probably need to dress like you don’t care about poor people. Again, the lex loci is the important factor here. Generally, dressing like a law student at a non-law job will be a sure way to pick up your unintelligent co-workers.
Unemployed: If you’re an unemployed 1L you should be wearing the smell of stale beer and sweat, because you should be enjoying your summer by partying and enjoying the sun, something you will never do again with the same degree of freedom. Ever. Trust us. If you’re an unemployed 2L you should be dressing for success while you run around trying to actualize your visions for a lucrative future. Try not to smell or look sad, because articling interviews are coming up and you don’t want to look out of place in a suit. If you’re an unemployed 3L we have no advice, because the shame and misery you are currently wearing is clothing enough.
Enjoy your summers everyone, and remember, the Fazon Polizia is watching you!
