You think you know Facebook. But then, one September day, you’re sitting in evidence class and Hamish Stewart drops a bomb: this man uses facebook, and hell, if you please you can be his friend. But you won’t find that in the syllabus. You tab over to your browser, send that friend request, and your life is forever changed.
You don’t know facebook until you have been facebooked by Hamish Stewart. The man uses facebook as you would—if you had a PhD from Harvard, an encyclopedic knowledge of Star Trek, and better opinions. This article reviews, lauds, and chronicles the many contributions Hamish Stewart has made to the internet.
What do we love about Hamish?
The nerdy stuff that is not in the syllabus
Hamish has encyclopedic knowledge of Star Trek like Data would have if Data were a real person who had watched Star Trek rather than a fictional character in Star Trek: tng. Dude is Data without the hair but with emotions (and not the artificial emotions Data experienced in Star Trek: Generations using the Emotion Chip). If he wanted, Hamish could write the Halsbury’s treatise on Klingon Public Law. He’s probably doing that right now. What a guy.
His photos from younger days
We’re young and don’t know much of anything. But Hamish? Man has experience. And what’s more, man is aware of the past—his own, and that of his city. Which is why he casually shares informative photos of vintage Toronto depicting common locations before they were ruined by condo developers (or at least that is the line you will use on your yuppie friends.) So instead of wasting your days creeping your ex’s timeline, spend some time checking whether Toronto was hotter five years ago.
His reasonable contributions to facebook discussion threads
You know what it means to be friends with Hamish Stewart? It means that your comment threads now feature one of the greatest constitutional scholars in Canada, who will drop in to utterly destroy the ignorant doggerel posted by your friends. Not that he is mean—never. But rather, his comments—so apt, so responsive, so sensitive—they make everything else look like so much ash.
His pictures of the moon that he took himself with a telescope
Hamish Stewart posts pictures of the moon that he takes himself with his telescope.
