Six U of T Law School “truisms” That (sort of) Aren’t Actually True

Six U of T Law School “truisms” That (sort of) Aren’t Actually True

Jacquie R

1 TRUISM: The highlighter method is “a thing”.

TRUTH: The highlighter method is a confusing, unbelievably time consuming thing with questionable value unless you’re hoping to develop your skill at 6-12 colour neon drawings in the margins of your course pack and time mismanagement.

2 TRUISM: The 1L class is significantly lamer than your class and all prior classes.

TRUTH: Law students have not been becoming exponentially lamer with every passing yearthey just always were seem to be for three months or so. Why? 1L is overwhelming in a way that’s sort of reminiscent of high schoola whole lot of irrelevant things seem really important because everyone immediately around you says they are. While most 1Ls eventually realize that the amount hours spent physically sitting in Bora/writing ungraded legal research and writing papers will have almost zero correlation to their GPA/ job options/self worth (especially when most of those hours are spent surreptitiously eating “library inappropriate food”/napping under the desk), 1Ls, prior to December exams, are afraid to be fun. They** are terrified that smiling will take up valuable study time and put them at a disadvantage against the non-smilers. 1Ls, based on my extensive and definitely unbiased research, will relax and become less lame when December exams end, the world doesn’t*** and everyone stops pretending that using twelve colours of highlighter has any value.

**I may actually still be a 1L.  1.5L? I don’t understand my combined program.

***The world might actually end this December, 2012.  1Ls should start coming to pub night now.

3 TRUISM: That classmate to your left? She might just be the next Supreme Court Justice. The one to your right will write screenplays. The paths law students take following graduation are as varied as you are!

TRUTH: That classmate to your left, and her left, is going to work for a full service firm. The one two seats away just doesn’t know it yet, but the one next to you does. She has already started her OCI research and networking, and she looks great in a suit. If I accidentally relaxed you with the previous truism, I take it all back. By not preparing already, even right now, you’re probably shooting yourself in the foot. Your better dressed classmate will beat you, and your linear career future as a Managing Partner/ world leader is probably ruined. Be terrified. Drink more coffee. Highlight everything.

4 TRUISM: Law school is about learning to “think like a lawyer”.

TRUTH: Law school is about learning to think like a very tired  nineteenth century lawyer with a three hour time limit while chewing up torn out pages from the Administrative Law treatise so no one else can ever read them. Delicious.

5 TRUISM: Your classmates have an astonishing array of “non law” talents.

TRUTH: Your classmates know all of the moves for “Gangnam Style”.

6 TRUISM: Every single one of your classmates is mind bogglingly brilliant and understands all of the material immediately except for you, who the admissions committee accepted by mistake. The faculty has made note of your incompetence already when they saw you writing “???” after every line of your LPPE notes and will shortly be rectifying their error by physically tossing you out of the school, highlighters and all.

TRUTH: Your classmates are indeed pretty  bright, but trust me when I say that you’re not the only 1L who isn’t sure what a “neutral” citation is (As compared to what? Is there a “biased”citation? Is this one somehow sexist?) or wonders whether the “proportionality test” has something to do with hip to waist ratios. Which it does.

7 TRUISM: Anything MPG says in list format in Ultra Vires.

TRUTH:  This is… 100% right. I’ll follow that man anywhere his lists may lead me.

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