After Saint Patricks Day, Halloween could be considered the number one holiday for poor decision making. However, there is no reason your bad choices should extend to your halloween costume. As a former sexy firefighter/girl guide/Alice/nurse/sexual harassment panda, I have observed a number of costume faux-pas over the years. This may not make me an expert, but really, who cares? Here are the official ton ten most common halloween mistakes as observed by moi, your secret law school fashion blogger:
1 Non-hypersexualized women’s costumes
Ladies, this is the one day of the year that you don’t need to worry your skirt is too high. Take advantage of this golden opportunity to wear that sexy maid outfit you bought last year for your anniversary and only used once. I’m sure that falls under one of the waves of feminism.
2 Costumes that need more then five words to explain
After two drinks no one wants to listen to an overly complex concept they won’t remember in 10 seconds. Consider also if you really want to keep explaining to everyone you meet what witty pun your trying to emulate when you’re half in the bag?
3 Topical u.s. Political Costumes
We get it, you’re following the u.s. election. How very worldly and intellectual of you.
4 Bad Law school puns
Only acceptable in 1L, after that it’s a given you can come up with that shit.
5 Reality tv personalities
Do you really want to advertise to the world you watch toddlers and tiaras on the reg? Even if you have no sense of shame, the rest of us don’t want to admit we recognized that Go-Go juice bottle right away.
6 Costumes that involve any type of cardboard structure surrounding you
It won’t fit on the subway. Heck, It won’t fit through the door of the predrink. Even if it does, it will definitely get broken at some point in the night and leave you stuck pretending your actually supposed to be embodying derelict circa Zoolander.
7 Men’s costumes that involve an absence of or tight bottoms
Gentleman, the rules that apply to the ladies unfortunately do not apply to you. Take a lesson from Cosmo’s fashion section and be strategic in the skin you show. Topless police officer = yes, underwear model = no.
8 No effort Costumes
Halloween only comes once a year so there is no excuse to be “too busy” to come up with a costume during the 364 days leading up to it. Variations on “evil dopelganger of yourself”, “three hole punch Jim” or “the reasonable man” aren’t clever, they are just plain lazy.
9 Black face, Nazis, Jihad, twin towers etc.
Just because Prince Harry did it doesn’t make it even close to right. (Though uv does endorse strip poker, camera and Vegas combinations whole heartedly.) Aside from the obvious career damning photos that will result, it’s always going to be “too soon” to make light of genocide.
10 Beloved childhood icons
No one wants to hook up with barney or a care bear. One night of nostalgia may result in years of Sunday morning regrets every time you watch TV with your children.
