Lisana Nithiananthan (2L)
Doesn’t matter what year of law school you’re in, hell, it doesn’t even matter if you’ve just been accepted and haven’t actually stepped foot in the law school yet. Any time someone asks you what you’re doing with your life and you reply that you’re in law school/will be in law school, you are sure to get one of ___ reactions. So how do you respond? Ever wondered how to appropriately respond to those reactions? Or better yet, ever had the perfect response but were too polite to voice it? Luckily for you, you’re not alone in your thoughts. Everyone has had to face some if not most of these reactions and have thought of some pretty good responses. And fortunately for the rest of the world, UV is not too polite to say the sardonic and scornful thoughts you were all thinking.
Reaction: Law school? So you a lawyer eh? So I have this legal problem that you can help me with…
Response: No. Just no. We are not lawyers. We are law students. We cannot give you any legal advice. If we could give you any advice it would be to seek legal advice from a lawyer.
Reaction: Can you take a look at this (insert any legal/confidential confidential) and tell me what you think I should do?
Response: Seek qualified legal advice. -_________- (See response above). I have no inclination to be barred from the bar before I even write the bar exam!
Reaction: Sick, like Suits?
Response: Fuck no. Suits is a show. About corporate lawyers. And a guy who is pretending to be a lawyer (without actually having gone to law school)!. It is NOTHING like suits.
Reaction: Are you going to save the world?
Reaction: Law School? So you mean you can get me out of jail?
Response: Why are you presuming you’ll be in jail? What exactly do you intend to do that will land you in jail?! On second thought don’t answer that. No I cannot get you out of jail. I’m in law school. And I have no interest in criminal law.
Reaction: Does it cost like $200 an hour just to talk to you?
Response: Not yet, no. But hopefully soon enough. *flips hair*
Reaction: Was it hard to get into law school?
Response: *sarcasm* Pshhhttt nah. It was nothing!
Reaction: Do you know how to bend and snap?
Response: I’m going to pretend like I don’t even know that’s a reference to Legally Blonde.
Reaction: So are you going to be a liar…er um…I meant lawyer…haha…?
Response: You’re not slick. I got your lame attempt at being funny. Yawn.
Reaction: You think you’re better than me?
Response: I’m sorry but whhhaaaa??? Where did that even come from???
Reaction: I’d better watch what I say to you. I don’t want to get prosecuted. Or sued!
Response: Yes perhaps you should. And perhaps you should have started watching what you say sooner.
Reaction: Isn’t that really expensive? You know that’s really expensive!
Response: Gee thanks. I wasn’t aware of how much debt I’ll be undertaking. Thank you for reminding me. Thank you SO SO much. Not.
Reaction: Oh wow, you must be really smart!
Response: Thanks. I’m glad my presence in law school validates my intelligence for you.
Reaction: You don’t look like you’re in law school. I never would have guessed!
Response: …I wasn’t aware there was a physical requirement to law school, but do tell me more about how I’m supposed to look…
Reaction: Wow you’re going to be loaded.
Response: with debt.
Reaction: Wanna hear a legal joke?
Response: *cringe* Pass.