Jordan Stone (3L)
The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of struggles over pastries. Indeed, the revolutionaries of France were galvanized into action when the callous Marie Antoinette proclaimed, “Let them eat cake.” They didn’t want cake, they wanted croissants, and so they overthrew the monarchy. Today, the revolutionaries of U of T Law, at the vanguard of democracy, proclaim that we will not eat muffins until the tyranny of “Yak’s Snacks” is replaced with its rightful name: “Iacobucci’s fiduciary snack duty.”
When Mayo Moran stepped down as Dean last year, the first thought on everyone’s mind was naturally, “What do we name the new breakfast hour?” There was an excitement in the air—change was on the horizon. However, to the disappointment of everyone, the new breakfast hour under interim Dean Jutta Brunnée was uninspiringly titled “Brunnée’s Bakery.” Luckily, a brilliant and handsome individual took to the U of T Law Facebook group and asked, “Is anyone else upset that Mayo’s Muffin Madness is now Brunnée’s Bakery instead of the infinitely better title, Brunnée’s crème brûlée mêlée?” With that, a revolution was born.
The post received 88 likes, a petition was circulated, and ultimately interim Dean Brunnée yielded to the rising tide of democracy. The people had spoken and they wanted crème brûlée. Months later, when Ed Iacobucci was appointed as the new Dean, speculation as to the new name for our beloved breakfast hour reached a feverish pitch. We turned to our most trusted democratic process, Facebook likes, to determine the new name. The landslide winner was “Iacobucci’s Fiduciary Snack Duty.” The people had spoken. This time they wanted snacks. Dean Iacobucci assented to the new name and democracy had won the day.
Yet law students were unceremoniously welcomed back to school this year with an invitation to attend “Yak’s Snacks.” This email was nothing less than a trampling on the democratic rights of each and every student at the school. There was no referendum on Yak’s Snacks—it was a decision made on mountain high by oligarchs stuffing their mouths with delicious pastries. The institution of “Yak’s Snacks” is nothing less than the death of democracy at the law school.
By replacing “Iacobucci’s Fiduciary Snack Duty” with “Yak’s Snacks” the Faculty has chosen banality over imagination, myopia over innovation, vapidity over artistry. All this while tossing away the democratic rights of students as hastily as they tossed away the mountains of leftover food at the last Yak’s Snacks. Yak’s Snacks has been so sparsely attended this year because we, the students, know there is no such thing as a free lunch (or, in this case, a free muffin). If we eat your muffins, we tacitly accept autocracy at the law school.
Students of U of T law, unite! Let the ruling classes tremble before our revolution. We have nothing to lose but our muffins. We have a world to win.
