Construction Workers To Finish Library In Frenzied All-nighter

Simon Cameron (2L)

With just a few days till the opening of the new Bora Laskin Law Library, workers from Eastern Construction sat down with Ultra Vires to explain their plans for completing the project in what they termed a “frenzied all-nighter.”

Although construction workers are now scrambling to meet a completion deadline that’s been known since 2013, they dismiss allegations that they’ve been procrastinating. “Maybe we let this get away from us a little,” one acknowledges. But “the Jays went on a playoff run in the fall, and that was really distracting. We really didn’t budget time for any Toronto sports successes.” Workers also deny they’ve been playing “Tree Protection Zone” on their laptops instead of building.

The site foreman explains that the second-year recruitment process really ground construction efforts to a halt. “Of course the boys, like all members of the public, care enormously about who’s interviewing at one of the sisters. So that was distracting, and then, when that was over, the motivation to work hard just kind of went. Can’t explain it.”

Still, with time ticking down towards the deadline, workers aren’t panicking. “A 3L gave us a really good set of blueprints. They’re not for Jackman Hall exactly, but they should be close enough.” They also claim that the hardest part is behind them. “The conceptual work is done. We know what the building is going to look like. We’ve gathered the supplies. Now we just have to use the next twenty-four hours to assemble them into a beautiful sculpture of steel and glass.”

Gian Medves, the Interim Chief Librarian agreed to keep the construction site open all night. And the workers said they “work better under pressure anyways. Otherwise we just end up tearing down and rebuilding the same section forever. The plan is to drink a lot of red bull, work till five or six in the morning, then sleep for an hour and check it over to make sure there aren’t cracks in the foundation and that we didn’t forget to build the roof or doors. That’s happened before.”

At press time, the site foreman was consoling himself with the knowledge that building inspections are heavily curved.