Professor Simon Stern
An extremely Negative (and only barely Reciprocal) Easement had grown weary of remaining fixed to a single habitation, when obstructing the aims of the local Business Improvement Association, and had taken to roving about, fomenting strife and discontent wherever it rambled. In the course of its travels, it encountered an exceedingly Adverse Possession, of the worst and lowest character that can possibly be imagined. Both of them delighted in nothing so much as trash-talking, grudge-sowing, and generally casting all and sundry into hatred, ridicule, and contempt. Their combined malignance was such that nearly all construction projects in the vicinity ground to a halt. In fact, people were so dispirited by the bitterness and antagonism that they could hardly get anything done at all.
One day a Professor of Law and Ergonomics from the University of Chautauqua arrived, bearing the inspiring gospel of Succour and Support. Shocked by the generally unproductive state of affairs, she quickly discovered the cause of dissension, and took it on herself to lecture the two doctrines about their proper aims. She was particularly dismayed that an easement, whose very name showed that it should be dedicated to comfort, contentment, and the relaxing security that comes with promoting the flow of commerce, had instead opted for a life of malevolence and acrimony. “Moreover,” she observed, “once you left your original abode you abandoned your theoretical justification entirely. You’ve got no reason to exist. And the same goes for your notorious pal.”
“But that’s where you’re wrong,” the easement replied; “I’m a negative easement, and must remain true to my nature, wherever it takes me.” This rather threw the visiting professor for a loop, until she saw a way around the difficulty. “In that case, can’t you see that you’re going about it the wrong way? You’re helping the very people you are trying to hurt!” She proceeded to expound on all the benefits enjoyed by indolent persons who were receiving social assistance without lifting a finger. Both doctrines, now persuaded of their errors, asked the professor what they should do instead. She suggested that they could be far more effective if they turned their efforts to litigation.
Moral: Misery Loves Champerty.
