Tort Or No Tort?

Maud Rozee (1L) and Clara Rozee (3L)

On February 8 at 12:05pm, Professor Ripstein’s Torts class was interrupted by a fire alarm. We evacuated Old Vic but Ripstein insisted on teaching two more cases while we froze on the pavement outside. Ripstein’s passion for Torts kept him warm but I personally was extremely cold. TORT or NO TORT?

Dean Iacobucci announced the opening of the new law library like one day before reading week. I had already made plans to go home, which I never would have done had I known. I would have lined up at 4am to be the first to set foot in the new space, but instead I missed the christening of the law library and my opportunity to explore its virgin territory before it was soiled by my savage law colleagues. TORT or NO TORT?

The library rejected my carefully written five page proposal to pay off my library fines by 2018 through a combination of acts of services, payment installments, and public flagellations. The good news is I can still take books out. TORT or NO TORT?

The fireplace in the new reading room looks like a fireplace for ants. Did they get it on clearance? Was it the scale model for how the finished fireplace should look? You couldn’t grill a shrimp over a flame that size. TORT or NO TORT?

Trying to put together a table of ten for the law ball has made me realize how few of you I actually like. Nine friends? I don’t know nine people I would trust to…I literally don’t think I know nine people at the law school. Just texted my one friend; she only knows two. TORT or NO TORT?

I have been told by no less than twelve upper-years that I shouldn’t worry about my summer. Every time I meet an upper-year, they make unsolicited remarks about how everything will turn out fine. Their constant and unrelenting reassurances that I have nothing to worry about is causing me acute anxiety. TORT or NO TORT?

Falconer is so warm that the chocolate bar I bought for nourishment during my small group melted completely. I was forced to lick the molten chocolate off the wrapper, eliciting the concerned gaze of Professor Stacey. TORT or NO TORT?