All you young punks can keep your Spongebobs and your text messages. If you recognize these eight things, then you know you’re a super-old law school kid:
- You grew up dreaming of having one of those fancy flushing toilets.
Kids these days don’t remember that only thirty years ago most people had to throw out their toilet every time they used it. Your mom always tried to make you use it for a whole day to save money on toilets, but you couldn’t do it. Yuck! Instead you begged her for one of those new flushing toilets you saw in the Sears Wishbook.
- Every time someone says, “What’s that cheese?” you can’t help but shout back, “Mozzarella!”
The kids’ game show Cheese Time With Dan and Dave changed your life and you’ll always have the catchphrase of the show ingrained in your memory.
- You remember when avocados were invented.
One day there was no such thing as an avocado and the next day they were everywhere. For months, the grocery stores didn’t stock anything other than avocados. Your whole family went wild for Avocadomania even though at first you thought they were only safe to eat after you boiled them for twelve hours. Then you realized that they’re much better uncooked and suspended in Jello.
- You created the TV show Everybody Loves Raymond.
You were tired of all those edgy TV programs the networks kept producing, so you created a TV show that someone like you would enjoy.
- You were hiding under your bed during the Jurassic Park worldwide panic.
When Jurassic Park came out, most of the world was tricked into believing it was a documentary and that there were dinosaurs on the loose. You spent a year hiding under your bed with your family, rationing your last barrel of avocados.
- You made friends the old fashioned way.
Nobody set you up on play dates or downloaded Tinder for Toddlers or Friendfinder onto your phone. You made friends the way you’re meant to, by dressing up a pile of rocks in your clothes and talking to it until it got struck by lightning and came to life.
- You remember the original Buffy TV Show.
Not the Sarah Michelle Gellar-starring classic. We’re talking the original, single-season cult hit Buffy The Vampire’s Lawyer. You still think it’s the best version.
- You tried to stop the round-Earth conspiracy, but you were silenced by the Illuminati.
The Earth is flat and you know it.
