Your mind is racing. What movie will appease them? Think! Just as Brett starts saying, “Get this garbage out of here,” and two shitty baby men grab you by the arms, it comes to you. You shout, “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is the greatest film of all!”
It works! They release you. “A true believer,” Brett says, and smiles. “Welcome to your new life.”
You must now live life as a Men’s Rights Activist. Eventually you even grow fond of some of them. Brandon isn’t so bad, he just wants to belong somewhere. And Tim? You’re sure Tim doesn’t really believe the total trash he spews just to impress Brett. He feels trapped, like you. But a day comes, years and years down the line, when you know you have to put an end to it. You challenge Brett to the “Trials of Zack,” a stupid series of contests to determine the rightful leader of the group, and you defeat him. In your first act as leader, you disband the group and order each member to go have a conversation with a woman who is not their mother, and to maybe read a book or something.
Your exam is long past, of course. Law school is a faint memory. You do not get an HH. But you tear down Chad’s poster and find a new door behind it. You open the door and step through. You find yourself standing in a sunny park. There are patches of snow on the ground, but the breeze feels warm, and there is a smell in the air of growth, of life. It’s a new day.