Make MRAs Mad (continued from “Nice Door”)

You know that you should say some Zack Snyder movie, but you can’t bring yourself to do it, so you shout the first thing that comes to your mind, which is probably the worst possible answer you could have given.

“My favourite movie is Ghostbusters,” you shout, “the all-female version!” You don’t even wait for them to react, you just start running. You can hear them chasing after you, screaming for blood. You reach a dead end and turn around. They have you cornered. There’s nowhere for you to go. A familiar voice comes from above your head…

“Grab my hand!” You look up and see that a ceiling tile is missing and there’s an arm reaching down. You jump and miss. Brett is stalking toward you, a copy of The Game in his hand, ready to bludgeon you. You jump again, grazing the outstretched hand, but you can’t get a grip. Brett lifts the book over his head. You gather all your strength and jump one last time. You just barely grasp the outstretched hand and you are pulled up into the ceiling with surprising ease as Brett brings the book crashing down on the spot where your head used to be.

“That was close! Sorry! It took me forever to find you.” It’s Julie! You’re saved! Julie takes both of your hands in hers and whispers something. You feel yourself being whisked away once more by the tornado of colour, shapes, and sounds. You keep your mouth shut this time and when Julie shouts, “Stop!” you find yourself falling gently, like a feather, toward a tropical island.

“Is this HH Island?” you ask.

“No,” Julie says, “but we’re close. There’s no time now to go through the Ultimate Map of TrutHH. There’s a quicker, but more dangerous way. You have to complete the Dreadful Task.”

“What is the Dreadful Task?” you ask. All of a sudden, there is a flash of lightning, a crack of thunder, and there is a hideous monster standing before you. It has worms for fingers, gnashing teeth, spiked wings coming out of its back; it has countless eyes, like a spider, and its tongue is a snake; it has scaly clawed feet, and it’s wearing a fedora. Julie gives you an ominous look.

“This is your task. You must tame the Spirit of Dread. If you do, he will fly you straight to HH Island. If you don’t, well…” she trails off.

“This is Buster?” you ask.

“YES, I AM BUSTER,” Buster roars. “IF YOU WANT ME TO FLY YOU TO HH ISLAND YOU HAVE TWO CHOICES: FACE ME IN A BATTLE OF WITS, OR FACE ME IN A BATTLE OF STRENGTH.

What do you choose?

  1. If you choose battle of wits, go to “Brains not Brawn”.
  2. If you choose battle of strength, go to “Strength”.