I love going to the most expensive law school in Canada. Every night I look at myself in the mirror and mouth the words “I go to U of T Law,” then go to sleep smiling. That rush alone is worth every penny.
As a 3L though, I can’t help but be suddenly and painfully aware of how much I owe. With this in mind, I went to the “Managing Your Debt” workshop on January 23. I was told to do things like “budget” and “open a TFSA” and “be responsible.” These are all great ideas, but I thought they were missing some pretty obvious options. Here are my tips:
- Go to Scotiabank and sweet-talk a teller into erasing your balance owing.
- Provide legal services at exorbitant rates. (Oops, that wasn’t very original.)
- Buy many floppy hats and wear a different one every day.
- Withdraw the rest of your loan and spend it on a plane ticket to a faraway, warm island. Be sure to choose one that has no extradition treaties with Canada. Live out the rest of your life there. Don’t post any Instas.
- Start a GoFundMe page. Explain to your friends and family that it is their generosity that keeps U of T Law accessible. Remind them to continue to donate each year, 7% more each year, so that our professors won’t leave for the University of Chicago.
- The Post-Graduate Debt Relief Program. Sorry—bad joke.