Totally real news from around the law school
Resourceful 1Ls drive bookstore out of business
The Class of 2021 has driven the Lenczner Slaght Royce Smith Griffin LLP Bookstore out of business after soft-copies of popular casebooks were distributed online in the SLS Facebook group.
Bookstore considers pivot to briefs
Having taken inspiration from the Canadian retailer La Maison Simons, the bookstore was considering a pivot to selling briefs named after famous U of T law alumni.
Clueless 2L cannot believe Peter Griffin is a real person
Jay Dee (2L), while at the Lenczner Slaght open house, could not believe that Peter Griffin was a real person. “No, really, what’s your name?” repeated Jay at least twice, according to sources, followed by, “oh, so, like, how did you come to join the firm?”
3L drops “Financial Crimes” in disappointment
Emma Bee-Ay (3L) has dropped “Financial Crimes and Corporate Compliance” with Kenneth Jull after realizing the course was not about how to get away with white-collar murder ponzi schemes. “All I wanted to be was Bernie Madoff. Except, you know, without the getting caught part,” she reported to Intra Vires. “Bad enough that it was at 8:30 AM!” Emma also dropped Mediation once realizing that the class was not a zen meditation class.
New UV editors charged with murder
Perhaps reading Shakespeare’s Henry VI a bit too literally, the new editorial board of UV has been charged with 600 counts of first-degree murder after the entire student body of the U of T Law school was reported missing on Sept. 4. The editors are currently soliciting donations for surety. Please send donations to [email protected]. Cheque, AMEX, and HH summaries are accepted.
Pizza Pizza to sponsor hallway
Dean Iacobucci is expected to announce at the next Faculty Council meeting that Pizza Pizza Ltd. will be sponsoring naming rights to “that awkward hallway leading to the Moot Court Room”.
SNAILS lodge noise complaint against Bora Laskin Library
Students not actually in law school have filed a noise complaint as librarians released streamers and balloons to celebrate the 500,000th visitor. Victoria Trinity, 19, an undergraduate biochemistry student, said “wow! It’s like Y2K all over again! This reminds me of MIDI files on MySpace!” It was unclear at press time just how old Victoria would have been during Y2K.
