Remembering Meruba Sivaselvachandran

Vivian Cheng

A bright, compassionate, and beloved individual 

By Vivian Cheng (2L) and Vanshika Dhawan (2L), with contributions from the U of T Law Community

Meruba Sivaselvachandran (2L JD/MBA) passed away on February 17. It is difficult to imagine a world without her — her smile, her laughter, her wit, her curiosity, her glasses that were always falling down her nose. Meruba was beloved by many in the U of T Faculty of Law community, and we will emulate her beautiful soul by living with compassion and generosity and joy. 

Photo of Meruba courtesy of Nathan Duong

Meruba was known for her warmth. Her vibrant laughter could fill an entire room. She had a particular way of scrutinizing the frown you were trying to hide from her, and a gaze that made you feel accepted for who you were but made you strive to be better all the same.

Those who worked with her often said that being in her presence was more enjoyable than the work itself. For Abraham Ahmed (2L), who worked with Meruba at Amnesty International’s Digital Verification Corps (DVC), two things are unforgettable: her ability to make you laugh and her unparalleled compassion. Her first priority was to ensure everyone was comfortable and felt supported. 

“That was the kind of person Meruba was: whether you were a friend or a colleague she’d just met a few minutes ago, Meruba was always thinking about others’ well-being,” recalls Abraham. She was thoughtful, helpful, and the life of any team she was on.

“In one of our meetings, Meruba and I led a small breakout team on one of our projects. Meruba’s first concern was to make sure the first year students felt as much support as possible,” says Abraham.

Professor Angela Fernandez, who taught Meruba’s small group, emphasized the fact that Meruba was friends with everyone and provided a “lightness” to any situation. 

Meruba and members of her Small Group

Meruba would bake cookies, write personalized elementary-school style Valentine’s Day cards, and congratulate her small group peers on their summer endeavours and extracurricular successes. She would even bake cookies and write Valentines cards for other small groups.

Meruba always thought about how she could make other people’s lives brighter. 

Sam Kokonis (2L), who was also in her small group, says “She made sure to remind each of us that we were important and valued.”

Meruba’s Valentine’s Day card for friend Seema Sidhu

Beyond her vivacious presence, Meruba was also a passionate advocate who was heavily involved in the community. 

She volunteered as a Student Ambassador for the JD program and was involved in the LAWS youth outreach program. Meruba also volunteered for the DVC and People for Equality and Relief in Lanka (PEARL) under the International Human Rights Program and the Sports & Entertainment Law Association. 

At Rotman, she was a member of the Entertainment and Media Association, the Rotman Marketing Association, and the Rotman Sports Business Association. 

It came as no surprise that Meruba also volunteered to plan the Orientation program for the Class of 2023. Her colleagues, Thryn Irwin (2L) and Branden Cave (2L), remember how eager she was to plan and lead the very first event, and how excited she was to welcome new students to the place she called home for the past year. 

Her enthusiasm for spreading love and friendship was contagious. She was able to get shy, hesitant students to come out of their shells and share her energy.

“Meruba was the only one of us that managed to convince her three groups to take individual photos. The rest of us had given up and done group photos instead,” say Thryn and Branden.

“But she didn’t give up. She was just so excited for these photos that the rest of the 1Ls started lining up to participate. She was an inspiration, to both the incoming class and ourselves.” 

Sabrina Macklai (1L JD/MI) remembers meeting Meruba for the first time on Welcome Day. 

“When she noticed I looked overwhelmed, she took me aside and talked to me for over an hour,” she recalls. “We had never met before, but she made me feel as if we had known each other forever. She gave me the push I needed to accept my offer, reassuring me that I wasn’t alone in being a South Asian woman in law, and that there was a place for us in the profession. Meruba continued to support me through my first year.”

Being loved by Meruba meant feeling cared for and valued because she truly paid attention to you. She had a penchant for remembering even the most minute details.

Courtney Cowan (2L JD/MBA), her roommate in 1L, fondly remembers getting an umbrella and purple pen for her birthday. “They were weird birthday gifts in any other context, but I had mentioned that I needed them,” Courtney explains. “I don’t know how she stored everything in her head. All I know is that she genuinely cared about and prioritized other peoples’ happiness.”

Meruba and Courtney Cowan (Meruba’s rommate in 1L)

Meruba spent countless hours helping Miina Balasubramaniam (2L) plan a surprise graduation party for her sister, and ensured it stayed a surprise. For Sabrina Sukhdeo (2L), a close friend, Meruba organized and hosted a get-together for her birthday — a day that typically sharpens a lot of negative feelings for Sabrina. 

“She went all out for me. She got a cake and made decorations. Even more impressively, she convinced the folks who had never gone to social events or hangouts before to come out. Meruba was so big-hearted and had an infectious sunniness. She was so good at fostering community and belonging,” says Sabrina. “It was the best birthday I’ve ever had.” 

Meruba and friends at Sabrina Sukhdeo’s birthday party

Meruba’s perceptiveness and fierce loyalty were unmatched. She always knew when her friends needed someone to check in on them, or when one of them desperately needed a laugh. 

“One day last summer, she started a group chat called ‘pls drink w/ me’ and said ‘Hi I would like to consume a beverage while staring at your faces so let’s FaceTime next week?’” recalls Vanshika Dhawan (2L). “I laughed so hard at the message. I don’t know how she knew I really needed a friend at the time, but she just did. She always did.”

To be loved by Meruba also meant to frequently be on the receiving end of her lighthearted badinage. Taskeen Ather Nawab (2L) described her as an individual packed with wit and sarcasm, who delivered punchlines with an unforgettable smile.

She had a proclivity for teasing her friends endlessly, but always in an intimate and affectionate way.

Seema Sidhu (2L), who hails from Winnipeg, says that Meruba did everything she could to make Toronto feel like a home away from home. Despite that, she never passed up an opportunity to crack a joke about Seema’s hometown. 

“Once, a friend from home was visiting when we ran into Meruba near the Art Gallery of Ontario. Without skipping a beat (or even saying hello), she turned to my friend and said, ‘Did you grow up on a farm, without electricity, too?’” 

This was Meruba’s picture of what Manitoba looked like. “I fiercely defended Winnipeg, and Meruba found my reaction funnier each time,” says Seema.

Vivian Cheng (2L) remembers being nervous right before performing at her Orientation Week Talent show. “I remember Meruba making fun of my piano playing right before my performance,” she says. “Despite her sarcastic comments, I had never felt more supported during a nerve-racking moment than I did with her by my side.” 

Her friends could always count on Meruba’s encouragement and unconditional support. She rightfully reminded us that we would regret not going to Call to the Bar. She pushed us out of our comfort zones, encouraging us to pursue crazy ideas like going to jungle gyms and trying out belly dancing. She had the power to bring together people who had nothing in common but their friendship with her.

She was passionate about everything — from the Kung Fu Panda orchestral score to Bollywood movie nights, to her disdain for karaoke and her thorough ranking of Jolly Rancher flavours. She breathed life into everything, and into everyone.  

Though accomplished and driven, Meruba will be remembered first and foremost for her kindness. We find it difficult to navigate a world without her spirit and her unapologetic humanity. 

Photo courtesy of the Sivaselvachandran family
Meruba and her foster dog

We will grieve for Meruba for as long as we love her — for the rest of our lives. We will celebrate her life and carry her memory with us in everything we do. The world is, and always will be, a better place because of her. We are all better because of her.

Rest in Peace, Meruba Sivaselvachandran.

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Please know that you are not alone. If you need to talk, below is a list of resources you can access to help you navigate this challenging time:  

Good 2 Talk Student Helpline at 1-866-925-5454

Ontario Mental Health Helpline at 1-866-531-2600

Gerstein Centre Crisis Line at 416-929-5200

Students can also contact the Health and Wellness Centre (weekdays 9 a.m. – 4:30 p.m.) at 416-978-8030, or to visit the Student Mental Health Portal at https://mentalhealth.utoronto.ca.  In addition to the services offered by Health and Wellness, UofT MySSP is available to support our students 24 hours a day, seven days a week via telephone, video, or chat from anywhere in the world in multiple languages.  

Students in need of academic support are encouraged to contact Assistant Dean Alexis Archbold at [email protected] 

Consider donating to her family’s GoFundMe page to continue Meruba’s legacy.

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