To whom it may concern:
I’m writing to you on this very nice night
To inform you my bank account is getting quite tight
I’d love to stop being so poor all the time
So I’d like you to hire me by the end of this rhyme
Oh, make no mistake; I’d be great for this job
’Cause UofT’s told me I’m on top of the mob
They’ve drilled in my head that I’m special as hell
…Too bad they told that to 200 others as well
But I’m better than them, you can bet on that!
I’d murder them all at the drop of a hat
And I’ve had a longstanding interest in whatever you do
Corpor-labour IP, yeah love that crap too!
I’ve also got tons of transferrable skills
From working 3 years on Mickey-D’s grills
Wooing a client is like making some fries
Just grease ‘em up while your inside dies
And don’t forget to call the reference I know
Me and Kent Roach? Yeah we’re totally bros
Sure I don’t say anything useful in class
But you don’t need to know that irrelevant fact
So I hope you consider me for a place at your firm
I’m smart, and hardworking, and treat fun like a germ
I’ll devote my life to you, and abandon all others
I’ll drop friends and siblings, and even my mother
Sincerely,
Katherine Georgious
