Ultra Vires


An Ode To Cover Letters

To whom it may concern:


I’m writing to you on this very nice night

To inform you my bank account is getting quite tight

I’d love to stop being so poor all the time

So I’d like you to hire me by the end of this rhyme


Oh, make no mistake; I’d be great for this job

’Cause UofT’s told me I’m on top of the mob

They’ve drilled in my head that I’m special as hell

…Too bad they told that to 200 others as well


But I’m better than them, you can bet on that!

I’d murder them all at the drop of a hat

And I’ve had a longstanding interest in whatever you do

Corpor-labour IP, yeah love that crap too!


I’ve also got tons of transferrable skills

From working 3 years on Mickey-D’s grills

Wooing a client is like making some fries

Just grease ‘em up while your inside dies


And don’t forget to call the reference I know

Me and Kent Roach? Yeah we’re totally bros

Sure I don’t say anything useful in class

But you don’t need to know that irrelevant fact


So I hope you consider me for a place at your firm

I’m smart, and hardworking, and treat fun like a germ

I’ll devote my life to you, and abandon all others

I’ll drop friends and siblings, and even my mother



Katherine Georgious

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