Ultra Vires

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Everyone Just Look at Me One Last Time

Matt Brown One Last Time
Matt Brown’s call for attention goes unheeded one last time

You know how this whole things works by now: I spend most of my time seriously undermining UV just so I can get cheap laughs on this page at its expense. I mean, stick with what works, right? It’s how I run literally every other aspect of my life.

Previous editors got congratulatory emails from firms. “Thanks for your hard work,” they said, “what a great year.” I know this because those emails are still in the UV email account. Mocking me. So, ya, firms: since the UV email account doesn’t seem to working feel free to send them to my personal email. An ecard wouldn’t hurt either. Thanks for the great year!

What’s funniest is that UV seems to soldier on despite my best efforts. To this day, 6 issues deep, when people tell me they have an “article” for UV what lands in my mailbox is generally some serious shit about LRW. Or feminism. Don’t you people read?

I guess what it shows is that one person, no matter how determined, has trouble shifting the course of entrenched institutions. Was that accidentally about Obama? This place is really getting to me.

As I ride out into the sunset, I can honestly say that this place is in good hands. Although incoming Editor-in-Chief Patrick Hartford is a perennial fucking disappointment, 1L Kristen Pennington really seems to have what it takes. Her article returns the phrase “muffin madness” to it’s rightful place as obvious, but hilarious, sexual innuendo. And she may have thrown in some poop jokes.

So, whether I’m here or not, next year’s UV is going to be just fine. And let’s be honest, besides UV what else do I have to do?

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