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U of T Dodgeball Honours Us All

2012 Intramural Dodgeball Champions
The U of T Law dodgeball team won many games by default this semester.

Pre-Game 1: strategy formed. Everybody throw at once, aiming at same target. Pick best players and get them out first.

Game 1: Easy win. Everyone but Charlie left standing. Charlie vows never to let that happen again.

Game 2: Charlie and Ginger left at the end. Ginger is risk-averse – hides in the back corner. Charlie shoots away while Ginger keeps feeding him ammunition in the form of squishy balls… Finally Ginger works up the courage to throw and aims too high. Opponent tries to catch but slips out of his hands. Game over. Charlie books his Tommy-John surgery.

Pre-semis game: we decide to experiment. Albert throws first, then Adam storms in with his crazy good accuracy. They’re a one-two punch team that is working perfectly, until Adam gets skinned by a sniper after one of his throws. Suddenly Albert Lin is the last person standing. DJ Khaled “all I do is win, win, win” comes over the bench. Albert puts out his cigarette. This means war. After a couple of attempts, he plans a grand attack that involves simultanously throwing two balls at once – twice in a row – but unfortunately could not dodge a quick one while carrying four balls at once. Luckily that game did not matter.

We’re in the semis. Now it’s best 2/3. We don’t lose a game, but they take a bit longer because there’s always one girl left standing who throws incredibly shallow, impossible-to-catch balls and then runs hides in the back. Charlie has no choice but to keep launching them into the deep corners of the court. Finally he gets her out. He gets back on the phone and moves his surgery two days forward.

Now we’re finals against our friends and colleages. Ginger grabs water before the game and suddenly finds herself in a pre-final reconsideration of strategy / secret meeting near the water fountain with Adam and Albert. The question: Should we try to get Charlie Hatt out first, or are we risking too much because he might catch our throws? It’s a tough call. In the end we decide to keep going for Charlie Hatt since the longer he stays in, the more people he will get out. After that, it will be Lane or Reilly.

“Quack, Quack, Quack…”

Final game: Charlies are ringers and both teams know it. Each of them dodge three balls in the opening seconds. Joanna fearlessly plants herself in the dead centre of the court and begins to fire away. Lane doesn’t stand still for a second. He’s running fearlessly up to the centre court line, whipping balls, and then cursing in full volume every time he misses. Suddenly the ref decides to participate. The opponents’ strategy differs significantly from ours in that they randomize the order of their targets.

Suddenly Ginger finds herself dodging 5 balls at once. So does Albert. Both survive. Charlie M. and Adam keep firing away and slowly take down their targets while Lauren continues to distract the opponents with her pirouette dodges and sheer beauty. Becky and Lauren keep coming out of nowhere and firing pitches from the edges of the court. Becky makes a steller catch – I forget who threw it but I remember it was truly fantastic.

In the final game, Reilly dodges and tries to catch a ball on the floor, but it just barely slips away. Emily was the last person standing on the other team. Eventually, we get her out. Victory, T-shirts and beers at the Red Room follow. Couldn’t have been better!

 

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