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Intra Vires News Update

BREAKING NEWS: A book was signed out of Bora Laskin Library

Bora Laskin
Credit: Philippe Landreville, Photographer
Supreme Court of Canada Collection

BORA LASKIN LIBRARY- In a shocking move, not seen since 2003, a student actually withdrew a book from Bora Laskin Library. “Obviously I was confused” said the librarian on duty at the historic moment.  “You hear about these situations but you never expect them to happen.” I had to look up when the book was due back, de-magnetize the security strip and everything. It was nuts.”

An undergraduate student who says he needed it for a political science paper withdrew the book in question. Besides facing obstacles in signing the book out, he also struggled when returning it. “I went back to Bora on Sunday to return the book, and found the library was closed,” he says. “I looked around for a drop box, but couldn’t find one. So I asked some law students who were hanging around outside if they knew how I could return a book after hours, but they just rolled their eyes and muttered something about Osgoode students and snails.”

Laskin estate sues Faculty of Law 

TORONTO- The estate of Chief Justice Bora Laskin has filed an injunction against the Faculty of Law requesting they permanently refrain from attempting to honour him in any way.

“Listen, you aren’t doing him any favours,” a Laskin family representative told Intra Vires. “Every year, you teach 200 students to associate Justice Laskin’s name with a disembodied head they can use as a meeting spot, or as a place where upper years harass them to buy tickets for their drunken parties. Do these kids even know anything he’s done… Harrison v. Carswell? Anyone?”

Faculty administrators were understandably disappointed upon hearing of the suit. They feel they have gone to great lengths to show their respect for Justice Laskin, like naming a library after him that isn’t open before 9:00 am.

The estate of Pierre Trudeau is considering joining the suit, in a bid to remove the “Trudeau as a Mad Einstein” portrait hanging in Bora Laskin Library.

2Ls spend days preparing off-the-cuff anecdotes to prove to firms they are totally normal

ONTARIO, CANADA- In an effort to prove they aren’t type-A perfectionists, 2L students across Ontario are heavily editing their online personas and meticulously planning 17 minutes of casual conversation for their upcoming On Campus Interviews (OCIs). After repeatedly being told the goal of OCIs was to get a sense of a student’s personality, these students are eliminating all semblances of their online identities by changing their names on Facebook, editing down opinionated blog posts, and deleting all photos of themselves wearing anything orange.

Students have also been conducting mock interviews with each other, where they are seeking to gain much needed interpersonal skills like listening to other peoples’ ideas, refraining from correcting someone who misspoke, and shutting up when they are about to complain about getting a B+. Progress in these areas has been minimal.

But it isn’t all dreariness and stress, as many students interviewed by Intra Vires said they were eager to start their legal careers. “Obviously I’m excited” gushed one 2L. “Finally! I am one step closer to my childhood dream: spending 65 hours a week drafting contracts for large mining companies!

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