Ultra Vires

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The UV Packing Guide for OCIs and In-Firms

The CDO has their own list of what you need to bring to OCIs and/or in-firm interviews, but we wanted to give it to you straight from some now-seasoned pros. This may seem like a lot of stuff, but don’t worry – you can always check your XL suitcase (or “borrowed” shopping cart, depending on your style) with the firm’s receptionist.

Vodka – for when things don’t go according to plan…

Champagne – for when they do!

GU/CLIF bars – interview season isn’t a sprint; it’s a marathon. Fuel accordingly.

Condoms – for when you really need to make it clear that they’re your first choice. They’re your first, they’re special, and you’ll remember them forever <3

Vaseline – for your teeth, pageant-styles. Permasmiling = winning.

Coke – you’ll get tired, so be sure to bring coke. A 20 oz bottle (or an 8-ball) will do the job.

Handgun – to eliminate the competition. Shit gets real in the PATH!

Cupcakes – it’s okay to eat your feelings sometimes, but just make sure you have room in your suitjacket for the extra 30 000 calories.

Invisibility cloak – for you, when you book 2 lunches and end up sitting at a table next to the lawyers from firm #1 when you’re at your next lunch with firm #2; for your BFF/mentor coach, so he/she can sit in on your interviews and whisper brilliant ideas into your ear when that partner grills you on why you reallyyy want to do M&A?

Notes on the “essentials” – don’t trust your memory on interview day! Prep bulletpoint lists of the essentials (& be sure to use the highlighter method on these): areas of specialty, number of lawyers, recent cases, interviewer’s practice & background & hobbies & address & past 3 addresses & next of kin & children (in birth order) & children’s current and past schools & children’s interests & children’s projected legal specialty (if over age 5).

Time travel machine – for when you (inevitably) fuck up and desperately need to turn back time.

List of clever and effortless segues – example: “my passion for public interest law… has… gone the way of Romney’s campaign AMIRIGHT?!”

Advil – for the morning after, in case you really do get drunk at a reception or dinner (PS – DON’T!)

Diapers – for the true gunners/overachievers who have no time to urinate and/or defecate.

Personalized business cards – matching the firm’s colour/marketing scheme, for a subtle hint that you’d “fit” right in.

List of at least 2 good reasons why you picked U of T over Osgoode (other than “it’s better, duh!” or “I’m a downtown gurl!”) – because you’ll inevitably interview with someone who went to Osgoode. And they’ll ask you.

Extra shirts – you’re gonna sweat. Cold, nervous pit and/or back and/or boob sweat.

CA$H MONEY – to bribe the Student Committee. They don’t take Scotiadollars. We tried.

Other accouterments: nylons (10 pairs min), gum (3 packs/day), bandaids (2 boxes/day), undereye concealer (1), CDO-provided magnetic name-tag (jks, no one wears these at in-firms).

OCIs and in-firms are a rollercoaster for everyone – from those who got their dream position to those who are left feeling dejected at 5:30pm on Wednesday. All you can do is prepare, pack, hang on tight, and hope you don’t barf on anyone (or at least anyone important…)

Note: the anonymous authors do not endorse any violations of the Law Society guidelines and/or the Criminal Code and/or any other laws/rules/regulations. We hereby refuse any liability for your dumb shit, and remind you that you are reading/following this piece of journalism at your own risk. 

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