Ultra Vires


Lessons on Life and Law from my Little One

I figured that between eating horizontally, seeing upside down, and copious amounts of napping, my son is likely to develop some valuable insights. Curious, I asked him to share some life lessons that would be of value to law students at this pivotal time in their lives. He had me type these up for him, as his word-processing skills are still developing:

10 things that U of T law students can learn from an 8-week-old:

1.           For best results at school and work, don’t take on too much at a time. Last week I focused on forming a smile and lifting my head. This week I’m working on grabbing things and putting them into my mouth.

2.           Don’t be afraid of change when you feel like you’re not being challenged anymore. I get changed about 6 times a day after reaching, and occasionally surpassing, my goals. I always feel better afterwards.

3.           Practice being Zen. My field of vision is about 18 inches and that helps me focus on the here and now.

4.           The secret to work/life balance is to fit work into your sleeping schedule. Between sleeping (about 16 hours a day) and eating (about 4 ounces every 3 hours), I manage to get a lot of important work done (like digesting and meeting developmental milestones).

5.           Get out of your comfort zone and try new things. I know, I know– easier said than done. It took me 9 months to finally put this thought into action.

6.           Being cute and/or bawling hysterically are generally the most effective negotiation tactics. I find that this works best when the other party is a sympathetic parent with a vested interest in the proper development of my nervous system.

7.           Mediation works most effectively when both parties are willing to put aside their differences. And change a diaper together.

8.           During discovery, trust your gut. They can scream “Bath time Is SO MUCH FUN!!” all they want. I know better: bath time is not that fun.

9.           Section 11(d) is a total sham. You turn around for one second and BAM – they throw you behind bars for nothing and don’t even think twice.

10.         Prices are dictated by supply and demand. If the best baby stores can get away with charging exorbitant prices ($18.99 for a beanie??), then so can the best law schools. Besides, my tuition is going to be about 20 times higher than yours, so stop complaining.

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