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Monumental News

Yona Gal (1L)

Former SCC Chief Justice Beheaded

Bora Laskin (as he then was) graduated from the University of Toronto long ago. Now, his decapitated head sits outside the Reading Room. His partial presence urges students to enter and study. “Avoid my path, avoid my fate,” Bora’s head (as he now is) seems to scream at passing students.

The Faculty of Law beheaded Bora in 1984. The school was disappointed in his shabby career. As a student, Bora’s future appeared promising. Professors and classmates predicted great things for him. “Oh, that Bora,” they were wont to say, “he’s going places”. Alas, it was not to be. Bora never reached the Supreme Court of the United States of America.

Recently, Justice John Laskin lectured at the Faculty of Law. Wisely, the lecture organizers steered Justice Laskin away from Birge Carnegie, thus avoiding an epically awkward moment.

(Note: Justice Laskin’s lecture was well received despite the tragic absence of refreshments).


 

Northrop Frye Almost Arrested

Northrop Frye was nearly arrested on Vic Campus last Tuesday.

Frye was sought for overdue book fines owed to the Toronto Public Library. Lt. Joe Bookman, a library cop, attempted to make the arrest. Frye was sitting on a bench near Emmanuel College when Bookman approached him.

“He was sitting with seven library books,” recounted Bookman. “One was open, but he wasn’t even reading it. He was staring at what appeared to be nothing, pretending like he didn’t see me”.

Bookman ordered Frye to rise and raise his hands. Frye ignored Bookman’s command.

“I tried seizing the books,” said Bookman, “but they were heavy – really heavy”.

Ultimately, Bookman abandoned the arrest, saying he “had other fish to frye,” though he went directly to Birge Carnegie to eat free donuts and read a magazine about Bay Street recruitment stats.

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