Reflection on the law school recruit journey
On Call Day last October, two weeks after my 2L OCIs, my phone didn’t ring. Out of all of my OCIs, I didn’t receive a single in-firm. I was devastated. Fast-forward eight months to the articling recruit, and my phone would not stop ringing. Not only did I receive over ten interview offers, but I also came out with six job offers, one of which happened to be my dream position.
On the Class of 2020 Facebook Group, a 3L recounted a very similar story. In the comments, a dozen more upper years echo the same. Clearly, what I went through was not a miracle; several of my classmates experienced the same tumult. So what changed for us between 2L and 3L?
As it turns out, nothing really.
After what I saw as my abysmal failure in the 2L recruit, I sunk into a state of disbelief. For the most part, I felt my OCIs had gone well. Was I overly zealous about public interest work? Was my focus on diversity off-putting? Was I too Asian? I spiraled into thoughts that had no purpose, and questions that yielded no answers. This was the breaking point of my already declining mental health since 1L. Law school had found yet another way to tell me I wasn’t good enough, that I didn’t belong, and that I would be a failure saddled with a mountain of debt for the rest of my life.
In breaking, I found liberation. The trauma of 2L cascaded me down an introspective journey.
I turned to counselling for the first time in my life. Here, I had the space to explore the roots of my diminished self-worth, and the absurdity of my futile efforts in school. I let myself be angry at the world—I had worked so hard to get into law school, and even harder to survive in it. Yet, it seemed that no amount of work could counter the arbitrary forces that could just as easily favour my other, equally talented colleagues—so much turned on circumstance, timing, and luck. Validation of my anger allowed me to accept my situation as it was: suspended somewhere in this duality of merit and chance.
Instead, I focused on what I could control: seeking out what I actually enjoyed doing, and what got me excited about law. During my 1L summer, I worked at Downtown Legal Services and loved every moment of it. Upon reflection, I realized I had so enjoyed my first summer at DLS because I was attracted to law that directly revolves around people, and all the human drama that entails. I leaned into courses that naturally interested me, like Wrongful Convictions. I concentrated my academic energy on the issues towards which I felt strongly, like systemic issues impacting the criminal justice system. I became a little braver about reaching out to lawyers I found personally interesting to chat about their career paths, with no expectation of a job at the end of these talks—supervisors at DLS, partners at prominent firms, and articling students who were once in my shoes. I took to heart the advice of those who were most passionate about their work.
All of these seemingly little acts allowed me to pursue only those paths I knew I would genuinely enjoy. I ultimately ended up spending one of the best summers of my life in the criminal division at DLS, and the rest, as they say, is history.
I didn’t change anything in order to become “more successful” in the articling recruit… I just had to take some time to regain my own voice.
What I didn’t realize during the 2L recruit was that it was so much easier to sell myself when I knew what I wanted to do. Moreover, despite what the CDO suggests, the 2L recruit represents only a sliver of the entire legal market. In contrast, the articling recruit offered a much wider selection across many different sectors: litigation boutiques, criminal defence firms, public interest positions, and more. Being more attuned to my genuine interests, I was more particular about where I applied (instead of sending the same letter to ten indistinguishable Bay Street firms). When I was more intentional about my applications, employers could more easily see why I wanted to be there. And when they saw that, I was actually able to “be myself” and connect with my interviewers more authentically.
However, I don’t want to downplay the very real concerns that underpin students’ decisions to participate in the 2L OCIs. I understand too well the pressure created by job insecurity and the crushing worry of not being able to pay off our enormous law school debt. This pressure weighs heavier for those who face higher barriers getting into law school—particularly racialized, immigrant students from lower socio-economic backgrounds. I felt that I had both more to lose, and more to prove. The failure to secure a big Bay Street position, with its promise of financial security and social prestige, can make lack of success in the OCIs all the more disappointing. Unfortunately, my story is not one that offers a solution, only a perspective. I had to make my peace with the possibility of a lower salary than my Big Law colleagues, and a potential path of job insecurity. I simply accept that these are not things that I necessarily have control over; all I can do is chase what I can control.
In sum, I didn’t change anything in order to become “more successful” in the articling recruit—I didn’t improve my resume, networking skills, or study habits. I just had to take some time to regain my own voice.
As I’ve written elsewhere in UV, it’s easy to lose sight of ourselves in this school. Even as I’m 3LOLing, the conversations I overhear remind me how difficult it was to be in this building last year. All I hear are 2Ls talking about who’s going for cocktails where, and who’s working at which firm in the summer—all at the expense of the silence of the other 50% of students who either did not secure any jobs through OCIs, or chose not to participate at all for a myriad of reasons. The normalization of this dialogue almost masks the fact that the OCIs are a weird little game—except that everyone is provided with an uneven number of pieces, or none at all. As such, I remind everyone to be mindful about conversations on campus about OCIs. If you’re one of the lucky “successful” ones, be proud while also acknowledging your fortune in the arbitrary nature of this process. Most importantly, be supportive of each other.
To those that do feel alienated by these conversations—both the 2Ls recovering from the recruit and the many 3Ls who are still in search of an articling position—I want to reaffirm that you did everything right. You worked hard to get to where you are, and you should feel proud of yourself for being here. There will always be opportunities that come your way. In these opportunities, there are people who will see and appreciate you. Congratulations on making it here today, despite all the tribulations and internal struggles of a profession that is inherently set up to disappoint even the best and brightest! This in itself is your victory, and one that will propel you forward to the next better phase of your life.
