Get blunted, and other New Year’s resolutions
Someone recently told me that New Year’s resolutions are bad for your mental health. Apparently, they set you up for disappointment. Maybe the problem is just that people set unrealistic goals. I already know that I’m not going to go to the gym, and that I am going to get enough Ps to make my transcript look like a Yorkshire pub menu.
So, this year, my resolutions focus on things that I can achieve, like not worrying so much about what I can’t. Cannabis is going to play a key role in that plan. I’m not saying that drugs are the solution to my problems, but I am hoping that they can help give me the perspective I need to find the solutions.
If you are feeling the same way, then keep reading. I have again procured some suggestions, from two of the school’s most knowledgeable tokers, of how to temporarily relieve some stress, so that you can get back to what you need to do.
Dankenstein
Pink Cocoa is a cross between Pink Kush and Chocolate Kush, two powerful indica strains. Out of the bag, it shares its parents’ charming, woody base notes, as well as their sweeter hints, but it is noticeably quieter. The flavour profile is also a fusion of its parents’. Spicy, dark chocolate and tobacco dominate, but the Pink Kush also contributes its caustic, peppery, cherry character. Indeed, Pink Cocoa seems like the obvious offspring of two well-loved strains — until it takes effect.
Pink Cocoa is not quite as quick to act as straight Pink Kush, but neither is it a slouch. Within five minutes of finishing my joint, it was a challenge just to walk back up the suddenly water-balloon-stairs to my apartment. Everything took on this lugubrious, lava-lamp quality as I fumbled with my phone to put on Eric Dingus’s remix of that Mike Jones classic, “Still Tippin”—“chopped & screwed” suddenly made perfect sense as a musical subgenre. I do not believe that I have ever had such a complete, corporeal, and mental high. The visuals were also spectacular. It was like being spun slowly around a kaleidoscope.
Pink Cocoa is not yet available through the OCS but expect it to command about $12 per gram.
Puff the Magic Dragon
If you enjoy music as much as I do, White Widow is where it’s at. This is a hybrid, sativa-dominant strain that turns ordinary music into a 3-D listening experience between your ears. Be sure to choose the White Widow produced by Redecan in the OCS for $10.05 per gram. Not all of the OCS weed is equal in quality; Redecan is one of the better brands. Roll it up, take a couple puffs, and within seconds you’ll enjoy a brand-new perspective on your favourite music. And when it’s all over, you’ll be ready for one of the most peaceful sleeps you could ask for.
