Rejected 1L Exam Questions: Constitutional Law

The final in a series

The government of the sub-Commonwealth of Foie Gras, a small, Canadian protectorate island off the coast of Winnipeg, have passed the Must Hug Andy Act, which reads:

1. The purpose of this Act is to ensure that Andy is hugged frequently and meaningfully and to prevent any wrongful complaints about hugging Andy.
   1. “Meaningfully” shall be described as “with intent to impart warm regards” and “without eye-rolling.”
   2. “Wrongful complaints” shall be described as “eye-rolling, whining, or generally mentioning a dislike for hugging Andy.”
2. Every person commits an offense who:
   1. passes Andy on the sidewalk, in the park, on the subway or in a car and does not:
      1. hug Andy for 20 seconds or more; and
      2. impart genuine warmth through the hug; or
   2. avoids Andy at all costs due to:
      1. lack of warm sentiment toward Andy; or
      2. thinking that this Act is stupid.

Brigham and Candace are residents of Foie Gras who have been charged under the new Act. Brigham was charged under s.2(a)(ii) after he was caught texting behind Andy’s back between the 13th to 18th second of a hug. Candace has been charged under s.2(b)(i) because Andy is her ex-husband and she genuinely wants him dead.

Brigham and Candace have come to you for advice on the constitutionality of the Act. Advise them based on the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms, the Corrections Act and the closest cereal box ingredient list you can find. You can assume that all of the people involved are actually mosquitoes. You can also assume that Andy does not smell fresh and that hugging him is generally unpleasant.

Additionally, Alberta has launched a constitutional challenge of the legislation against the government of Foie Gras, alleging that it infringes on the right of the federal government to build pipelines anywhere they damn please. The federal government is intervening on both sides, which they argue shows they are working twice as hard for Canadians. Advise the federal government on how to best avoid looking like total hypocrites.