Dedicated to Zachary Biech, for his auctioned promise*
Attention! All rise! The students of law
are now called to order by the great Grand Poobah,
dictator-for-life, the ruler supreme,
the fearless, the brave, the held-high-in-esteem:
Tali the Bold! Yes, stand up and hail
her humbleness now! May her wisdom prevail!
Three cheers for His majesty and el Presidente,
Ralph, the delight of all cognoscenti!
He’s savvy! He has a prodigious IQ,
and lots of panache, as all canines do!
In his fancy chapeau, he’s a leader with taste!
May his orders be heeded and his views be embraced!
“The Hymn of Saint Tali” (To the tune of “Battle Hymn of the Old Republic”)
She loved all creatures big and small and scaled and feathered to;
For justice for her furry friends she argued through and through;
Apparently, the library King Ralph they do eschew!
One more term till she’s gone!
Glory, glory, Tali Chernin!
Glory, glory, Tali Chernin!
Glory, glory, Tali Chernin!
One more term till she’s gone!
Her wrath was mighty terrible at the coming of the Ford;
Her voice was heard in all the halls till she ripped a vocal chord;
Once she graduates her rent will rise no longer can afford!
Her life is marching on!
Glory, glory, Tali Chernin!
Glory, glory, Tali Chernin!
Glory, glory, Tali Chernin!
Her life is marching on!
I have seen her bring two-score of 1Ls to the Follies’ fold;
For not thinking they were funny she them righteously did scold;
Her fury and their terror was a wonder to behold!
Where have those 1Ls gone?
Glory, glory, Tali Chernin!
Glory, glory, Tali Chernin!
Glory, glory, Tali Chernin!
Where have those 1Ls gone?
She came from far away a distant land across the sea;
She’s never stopped insisting that I watch Community;
I wish her, Kev, and Ralph the best once she’s a graduée!
I’ll miss her when she’s gone!
Glory, glory, Tali Chernin!
Glory, glory, Tali Chernin!
Glory, glory, Tali Chernin!
We’ll miss her when she’s gone!
*Disclosure: This piece was written for the Promise Auction, 2019 that raised funds for the Native Women’s Resource Centre of Toronto. The winner of the Auction was Zachary Biech (3L), who asked that we write this profile of Tali Chernin (3L).
