Christian Girl Autumn can wait a little longer
Hot Girl Summer, who strutted into the mainstream consciousness and encouraged us to live our best lives, passed away on Labour Day, surrounded by her family and loved ones. After a long struggle with the apprehension of school-year stress, the sudden onset of the two-week-long Legal Methods course concluded her time among us.
Summer was born on the first nice, warm, and sunny day of 2019 to parents Keanu Reeves and Gaia Climatechange (née Globalwarming). Born as Summer Twentynineteen, she was given the nickname Hot Girl Summer by the fans of Houston-born rapper Megan Thee Stallion in May, and this sobriquet set the tone for the rest of her short life.
Summer came into being with the twangs of Lil Nas X’s “Old Town Road” and its defiant lyrics “Can’t nobody tell me nothin’ / You can’t tell me nothin’.” She grew up with the powerful verses of Lizzo’s “Juice” on repeat.
Over her brief, legacy-filled life, Summer taught us that just as one does not require a dick to have Big Dick Energy, one does not have to be a girl to have a Hot Girl Summer. It’s all about having confidence and ambition. It’s all about having goals and achieving them. It’s about feeling invincible.
This summer, there were hordes of youth pledging to storm Area 51. Keanu Reeves was living his best life with John Wick 3, Toy Story 4, and a cameo in Always Be My Maybe. Boys turned themselves into literal hot girls with the Snapchat gender-swap filter. There is literal heat with the Amazon rainforest burning in Brazil.
No other nickname has ever been as apt.
Summer is survived by her parents, Reeves and Climatechange. She will never truly leave us—Hot Girl Summer—the motto, the meme. Hot Girl Summer is a state of mind, an attitude, a spirit that will continue to exist as long as there are people embracing what it stands for—unabashedly living life on one’s own terms.
Thank you, Hot Girl Summer, for what you brought to the lives of many and the impact you made. You were truly inspiring. May your legacy live on.
In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to the countless students trying to have a hot scholar semester.
