Therapy will not be cheap after these catastrophes
With OCIs finished and in-firms around the corner, Ultra Vires wanted to imagine some worst-case scenarios for virtual interviews. We don’t think there’s any topping some of these disasters but let us know if you think you’ve had it worse!
- The two interviewers are really just one interviewer from two camera angles, but they absolutely refuse to admit it.
- Your “interview” at that hip new boutique is actually a 17-minute pitch to sell you on Avon.
- Interviewer brags about their incredible childcare program. They bring their child on screen. You will be in charge of watching this child.
- “We’re very proud to be rolling out our new firm initiative to tackle mental health challenges among young associates.” Interviewer proceeds to hyperventilate into a firm-branded paper bag.
- Suddenly, the conversation shifts from favourite vacation spots to the moral dilemma of whether to have children with an impending climate disaster.
- The disturbing, nude statue at the back of the partner’s office has been staring directly at you this whole time—oh my god, it just sneezed.
- For 10 minutes, the interviewers pretend that they can’t hear you, and then spend the rest of the interview laughing at you for wasting your one shot.
- Mid-sentence, the partner obviously throws up in their mouth a little bit. Everyone pretends not to notice.
- The HR rep playfully pretends to pass you a file through the screen but then continues trying for a disturbingly long time.
- In the middle of behaviorals, the LSD that has been floating around in your system for five years finally kicks in again.*
* It’s just an urban legend, don’t freak out.
