What to know before pursuing a fellow law student
To date or not to date another fellow law student, that is the question.
Without a doubt, some people have found others at the law school that they are romantically interested in. Perhaps one made the first move leading either to a date or rejection. And indeed, some people have found the right person at the place where we have experienced both ups and downs as we prepare to enter the legal profession. To have commonly aligned career interests, to be able to go through pain and suffering together, to be able to share the same achievements—how much more romantic could it get?
But many people come to law school with prior relationships or are exclusively looking for people outside the confines of 78 and 84 Queen’s Park. For them, law school is a place where they want to focus on beginning their careers rather than finding romance. They wish to maintain the separation between their personal life and life at law school. Law school is already as intense as it is; do you really want to rant (or listen to a rant) about a competitive moot’s run-through on Valentine’s Day from your significant other (SO)?
Dating a fellow law student has quite a few up-sides. Law school is a place where we have frequent interactions with one another and plenty of opportunities to get to know each other really well. If you were to indeed fall for somebody, you can be rest assured that this person shares similar ambitions and understands whatever struggles you may be going through. One student pointed out that support from a SO familiar with life in law school could be really important, particularly in the middle of a global pandemic that has kept many of us apart. Having someone who could provide study support and help with adjusting to a new environment can be very beneficial. Another student pointed out the joy of being in the same class with your SO and the importance of having someone who could help you relieve stress and improve mental health. Yet another student pointed out that your SO can also provide you with “free networking for your future career.” Even those who have reservations about dating other law students can acknowledge the benefits of having someone who understands your difficulties, like the recruit or exams, and can share notes and maps with you. Your SO can be the best study buddy out there.
But there are also some unavoidable downsides. Many students agree that your life in law school could easily become intertwined with your personal life if you were to date a fellow law student—not something that all students perceive positively. One student expressed their reservations about dating other law students, saying that “law school is already hyper-competitive and stressful” and “navigating a relationship within those confines would be really difficult.” They noted that they would “rather have [their] own bubble for work and academics and not mix [their] personal life into it, especially given the high-intensity nature of the legal field.” Another student echoed this sentiment, noting that “always having to talk about things like mooting, recruits, classes, and other law student stuff is too much school.” This could also exacerbate stressful situations if the two students get vastly different grades or different outcomes in a recruit, as yet another student pointed out. Even those who were more positive about dating other law students mentioned their concerns for what others within the law school community might think in the event that such a relationship did not work out as planned. After all, our main goal in law school is to graduate successfully and begin our journey in a competitive profession. If dating others in law school turns out to be an impediment to this goal, is it really something worth committing to?
Furthermore, there are some notable benefits to dating someone not involved in the legal profession. One student whose partner works in the tech sector pointed out some of these benefits. Both sides can exchange their perspectives on their respective professions and can help each other network with people from their industry. Dating outside law school could thus lead to more career opportunities. And considering the reasoning and argumentative skills law school equips us with, law students could not possibly lose an argument to someone not in the legal profession—an advantage that ought not to be yielded.
In the end, there is no right or wrong answer to this question. What really matters is your own preference. If you find a person at the law school that you like and you want to have someone by your side going through the same joys and struggles as you, then by all means, take that chance! If you prefer to date someone outside the law school who has a completely different perspective and gives you the space to avoid thinking about the hyper-competitiveness of the legal profession, then you should stick to that! As one student correctly points out, “if two people click, they click.”
