Totally real news from a partially-reopened Faculty of Law
Five-letter word guessing game momentarily distracts the country from the deterioration of our society
Amidst occupying truckers waving confederate flags, a deadly pandemic, and the soul-crushing anxiety of climate change, the world experienced a brief respite in the form of Wordle. Trying to get those five green tiles to flip over managed to momentarily distract from the dumpster fire of our world. And then the New York Times bought it and *might* keep it free-to-play, so glad to see capitalism is still alive and well.
Police across the country ask convoyers to pretty please move their trucks
After violently removing Indigenous land defenders for decades, police across the country decided to take a different approach with insurrectionist truckers. Instead, officials asked the squatters to pretty please stop the honking and maybe move their vehicles, if it’s not too much to ask?
Law students prepare a convoy of BMWs in the Jackman parking lot to demand the reopening of Goodmans Café
After the recent wave of vehicle-themed protests in this country, several students are preparing to take over the Jackman parking lot and demand a reopening of the beloved Goodmans Café. Others proposed a Faculty-wide student sit-in to protest tuition costs, but priorities people, priorities.
Faculty administration finally gives in to accommodations demands and provides free food
In an attempt to win the hearts and minds of the students, the Faculty will provide coffee and snacks in the Jackman Atrium. The hope is that students will be too distracted by the free croissants to realize the administration has still refused to address major issues with its accommodations policy.
Turns out crowdfunding sites do not have the ~best~ cybersecurity
The recent hack of a certain crowdfunding site for a certain truck convoy leaked some ~interesting~ alleged donors from our esteemed school. There has been no comment on the news from the Faculty, but as a future note to self, do not use one’s full name and school email when supporting insurrectionists.
