In Vino Veritas
Understandably, you might believe that playing Christmas music in November is a criminal offence, leading one to reconsider their distaste for capital punishment. Alternatively, you may be of the variety who views Mariah Carey as a religious icon deserving of your complete adoration the second Halloween is over. Regardless of where you fall on this spectrum, your mother is unquestionably preparing her Spotify playlist with the greatest holiday hits, ready to blast at 7am the first morning you arrive home post-exams. Accordingly, you need to proactively stock up on a bottle or three to make it through the holidays. Read on for In Vino Veritas’s recommended bottles to pair with your mother’s favourite Christmas songs.
Jared Barkman (2L)
Song: “Mary’s Boy Child / Oh My Lord” by Boney M.
Cakebread Cellars – 2016 Cabernet Sauvignon
LCBO | $129.95
There are two types of people who like Boney M.: those who partied really hard in the ‘70s and those who wish they had partied really hard in the ‘70s. I have a hunch that my mother is the latter, but one can never fully trust the narrative. Regardless, preparing for the holidays will undoubtedly entail enduring eccentric German-Caribbean disco on repeat for my entire stint at home, necessitating a proper wine pairing.
If “Mary’s Boy Child / Oh My Lord” is your mother’s favourite Christmas song, I recommend pairing it with Cakebread Cellars’ Cabernet Sauvignon. To confirm, I don’t recommend buying the wine yourself—it’s not exactly kind on a student’s budget. But if your mother expects you to endure Christmas with Boney M., surely she wouldn’t mind a little cellar-snitching as compensation.
There are several parallels between the song and the wine. Firstly, both cater to a demographic of middle-aged folks with conventional, borderline-bland tastes. Secondly, both can be accurately described as “bold,” in their own way. Finally, both will have you singing “oh my Lord” by the end, whether you like it or not. To be fair, this is a nice bottle of wine, albeit traditional: rich notes of chocolate, oak, and layers of blue fruit offer a lovely complexity. Unfortunately, my praise is limited for the song—but a gutsy 14.8 percent alcohol level makes nearly any Christmas playlist palatable.
Reya Manerikar (3L)
Song: “Silver Bells”
Benjamin Bridge – Pink Piquette
LCBO | $5.95
If your mother’s favourite Christmas song is “Silver Bells,” I recommend pairing it with Pink Piquette.
Much like the song, this wine beverage is light, airy, and (arguably) divine. The pet nat technique gives this drink the perfect effervescence for a big holiday feast—enough to make you feel fancy without taking away important stomach real estate. You’ll find elderflower and rosehip on the nose, and gentle hints of papaya and passionfruit on the palate.
Piquette means “bad wine” in French. The process involves a second press of the grape pomace, resulting in an alcohol content much lower than traditional wines (around six percent). As such, farmworkers were often served piquette to keep them hydrated and lively—two characteristics that will make your visits with loved ones that much more enjoyable this holiday season.
Quinn Hartwig (2L)
Song: Norah Jones. Any and all Norah Jones.
Santa Margherita – Pinot Grigio
LCBO | $20.95
If your mom is like mine, neither the music nor the wine changes around the holidays—that means a steady supply of Norah Jones, best paired with Pinot Grigio.
Like the Drake lyric, mom keeps “Santa Margherita by the lita” throughout the entire season.
Like Nora, the wine is reliably crowd-pleasing, smooth, and timeless.
Like mom, Santa Margherita is consistently balanced, elegant, fresh, and fun.
An excellent addition to a holiday party, it tastes gently of citrus and will pair well alongside any lighter meal. When in doubt, it’s always a safe option. Ensure to serve as chilly as possible!
