Totally real news from a sleep-deprived Faculty of Law
Despite cost increases for coffee, survey shows no decrease in overall student body caffeine levels
On February 1, the Goodmans LLP Café opened its (metaphorical) doors for the first time in years, replacing the free coffee and tea program. Despite the fact that a cup of coffee costs around $2, an initial survey indicated that students remain just as caffeinated, if not more than before. Superfans were spotted at Goodmans up to three times a day to get their much-needed fix, while other students have ventured away from Jackman to more popular coffee chains. Whatever it takes…
Lecturers for 6–8pm classes collaborate to create soothing sleepcasts
Professors who teach classes from 6–8pm have a new side hustle: recording and distributing sleepcasts to tired students in need of a good night’s sleep. The sleepcasts, modeled after those found on the Headspace app, feature gentle lectures over ambient noises such as rain sounds, ocean waves, and crackling fireplaces. “Sometimes I still have some energy at the end of the day, but once I hear my professor’s voice, I can instantly feel myself drifting off,” commented a student. Popular sleepcast topics include intellectual property, securities regulation, legal ethics, and family law.
Reading Week exodus
Ahh, it’s finally that time of year, reading week! You may have seen less and less of your friends in the preceding weeks, but no doubt they were gone last week to someplace warm—the Carribean cruise they’ve been muttering about, maybe. Classes with no attendance requirement have seen a skyrocketing of, well, …no attendance, and word on the street has it that the most popular courses anticipated next year are those without this pesky requirement. I can Zoom in from Bali, right?
Justice Rosie Abella Fanclub opens annual membership registration
After the wildly successful Students in Conversation with Justice Abella event, the official Justice Rosie Abella Fanclub has opened membership registration for the year. Fans of Justice Abella can register to officially become a “Bella” until the end of 2023. Bellas will receive a membership card and early access to tickets for future Justice Abella events, including the upcoming Rational Connection event during Oakes Week. Those who purchase Supreme Court status membership will also receive a welcome package that includes an exclusive photobook, an acrylic keychain, and three random photocards. Hurry, memberships are limited and WILL sell out!
Are you Law Bawling or Law Balling?
Law Ball tickets have seen a significant increase in price this year, a whopping 30 percent increase from last year. Inflation really hitting hard, eh? Students burned by the long lines, mid-tier music, and grumpy bartenders of Lawllywood might be opting out of a risky gamble this year, but others are all in—what’s another hundred or two out of the line of credit when you’re in LAWS VEGAS? Maybe it’s time to hit up that trust fund baby you met last year in Crim. There’s no property division after a shotgun wedding…right?
