No, not a ladybug
This past October, every law student at the University of Toronto received a shocking email: exactly one (1) bed bug was spotted in room P228 of the library. This bed bug quickly became one of the most talked about people at the law school. It was even the source of inspiration for a Halloween costume at last month’s SLS event.
I sat down with the controversial figure at the esteemed Terima Café to gain insight into his time at the law school thus far. After a tongue-in-cheek comment on the disappointing quality of the baguette he purchased for an economical $15 from Terima, (he says he was “spoiled” on a recent trip abroad), we dove into what would become one of the most formative conversations of my life.
Emma Davies [E.D.]: Hi Mr. Bug. I know you have a packed schedule, so I want to get right to the important questions. What’s the biggest issue facing bed bugs today?
Bed Bug [B.B.]: Please—call me Bed, Mr. Bug was my father. And to answer your question, probably stigma or unpopularity. It’s one of the reasons I agreed to do this interview. I’m hoping to shed some light on the positives of being close with a bed bug. We’re loyal in that we will stick with you; we’re adept at building big communities; and we’re inclusive. We’ll hop on to pretty much any fabric!
E.D.: In keeping with the theme of building community, how are you hoping to make your mark here at the law school?
B.B.: Aside from little spots on the wall? I’m considering creating a sister event to J’s Java called BB’s Beans. I think it would be a great way to bridge the human-bug divide. A cup of joe between colleagues goes a long way in improving relationships. I’m also thinking we should start a mandatory blood drive, for no particular reason. I would be more than happy to help administer it.
E.D.: What have you learned about the law since being at the faculty?
B.B: Well, I thought we had a presumption of innocence, but clearly that’s not the case. [He laughs]. But seriously, I have been reading up on defamation law. When you’ve had as many bad things said about you as I have, you start to get concerned. Although, part of the issue is that they’re all true! Love me or hate me, I’m always going to be myself.
E.D.: That kind of self-awareness is admirable. What has surprised you most about law students?
B.B.: At first, I was confused about how much they seem to dislike snails. All the snails I hang out with are nice guys—family guys. They like to take things slow, which I appreciate in such a fast-paced world. I only realized later that it was an acronym for ‘Students Not Actually In Law School.’ And on that point, I agree. Where’s the pest control for the undergrads, am I right?
E.D.: Speaking of pest control, how did you feel when the exterminators were called on you?
B.B.: That was—[he composes himself]. It was a hard day. Can we go to the next question?
E.D.: Sure, let’s end on a positive note. Bed bugs have recently been spotted on the TTC. Do you have any words of encouragement for them?
B.B.: I would say just keep going. A lot of people in our community think that the TTC is amateur hour for bed bugs. But everyone has to start somewhere. Some people might say that there are no beds on the subway, but anything can be a bed if you have the right ‘grindset’ [he taps his head with one of his many arms]. Who knows, one day those bugs might be seen at a CRA building—or hey, even a law school.
Editor’s Note: The views expressed by Bed Bug are his own and do not reflect the views of the interviewer or UV.Acknowledgements: I’d like to thank Jason Quinn (human), Mina Alam (also human), Julianna Lyon (again, human), and Bed (bug) for their help with this interview.
