Totally real news from a totally haunted law school!
Have you seen the ghosts roaming the halls of Jackman?
Don’t be alarmed—the law school isn’t haunted. Those are just the 2Ls going through OCIs. We predict they should disappear by the end of recruit. If you encounter one, remember to remain calm. We advise avoiding eye contact and conversation to prevent spiraling about why you haven’t yet received an ITC from Blake’s.
Hunger Games to replace Law Games: A message brought to you by J’s Java
In a school revered for its fierce competition, why not up the ante? J’s Java will now be delivered in a Hunger Games style format where students offered as tributes must battle for sustenance. J’s Java has also decided to take panem et circenses to heart by even allowing faculty to sponsor tributes.
Bora Laskin Housing Market rivalling Toronto!
Toronto is no stranger to sky high housing costs, but the Bora Laskin Study Room market is about to put Toronto to shame. Demand has increased so significantly that lunch bookings have become next to impossible. In fact, current active bookings were placed in advance all the way back in 2008. Experts warn that bookings will only get more competitive as we get into exam season—and until then the market will only get hotter.
The right to office hours: ConstitutionaLEE protected?
The 1L cohort this year has taken a hands-on approach to the law. Facing incredible hardship in speaking to their professors and battling for office hours, the 1Ls have decided to take up the helm of zealous advocacy. Inspired by the various ground-breaking constitutional cases of the past, one section is reportedly bringing their own Charter challenges. They prompt the law school to ask the tough questions—who deserves office hours? Are we not all equal in our quest for legal education? Is there no right to office hours? And most importantly, can it be justified under section 1?
Feeling under the weather?
With the changing weather, it seems to be that time of year where you’re either sick, getting sick, or about to be sick. Coming to class can become an even bigger challenge when you’re not feeling well. But, if you’re hoping to get a recording, be sure it’s a permanent fatal non-curable disease or that you have your own personal doctor on hand ready to sign their life away.
U of T Law launches new dating app modelled on the 2L Recruit
Dear single and lonely law students, the days of fruitlessly swiping left are no more! With U of T Law’s new dating app “OC-I Love,” legal singles can now connect with like-minded aspiring lawyers. Instead of swiping, romantic hopefuls can express interest by sending standardized ITC emails to prospective matches. If you’re really excited about someone, you can even send them first choice language—but beware: you can only use it once!
Terima leans into monopoly
It’s no secret that Terima has dominated the coffee market as the only player in the law building. But recently, it seems Terima has realized why stop at coffee? Why stop there, when Terima can be the law school’s coffee-sandwich-energy-drink-frozen-yogurt-affogato-and-whatever- else-they-can-think-of-place! Rumour has it they’re thinking about expanding into the textbook market (watch out bookstore!).