What’s in the cards for you this year?
Welcome to 2025! Whether 2024 was a banner year or a bummer year, it’s time to look to the future. For this batch of ‘scopes, I charged my tarot deck overnight in the light of the full moon (or possibly a very round streetlight, I haven’t Windexed in a while) and drew one card for each sign to see what’s in store for them for the year ahead.
Aries, The Fool: This card carries two connotations for you, Aries. The first is that you will see the truth of a situation you had previously been misunderstanding or turning a blind eye to. This will, initially, bring some feelings of embarrassment—why didn’t you wise up earlier? But this will pass, and you’ll feel better once you’re free from the influence of the elephant in the room that you’d been avoiding eye contact with even though it definitely already knew that you saw it. Remember: being booboo the fool is temporary, but wisdom earned from experience is forever.
Taurus, The Emperor (Reversed): Don’t dust off your crown just yet. This card is Uno reversed, meaning that rather than getting to come into your own authority, you’ll be subject to someone else’s. This might be a hard-to-please professor, a new boss, or even a very particular roommate. But there’s a silver lining to this annoying cloud: while the best rulers have high standards, they also know how to be generous when those standards are met. For you, this could manifest in receiving the Faculty’s first-ever HHH, a bonus that’s only 2% below inflation (score!), or roommate synergies you never dreamed of. Of course, knowing your stubborn Taurus ways, you might simply choose to tell that overly-particular roommate to do the dishes themselves if they’re going to be that way about it. Sometimes standing up for yourself is its own reward. And, who knows, maybe they’ll leave their nice coffee table behind when they move out!
Gemini, Death: Don’t panic! While this card may seem scary, it can often signify big positive changes. If not that, I hope you paid attention in Trusts!
Cancer, The Hermit: You spread yourself thin socially last year – you showed up to every event that your club-executive friends begged you to come to, hustled on networking until you hated yourself, and even actually watched a few of the 5000 Reels your mom sends you every day. That’s all well and good, but you can’t pour from an empty cup. This year, spend some time with the big three (me, myself, and I…or I guess you, yourself, and…you? I’m not trying to say we should hang out, I’m…busy) and enjoy the fruits of last year’s emotional labour.
Leo, Judgement: While I like to procrastinate on making major life decisions as much as the next girl, I can’t advise that you do the same. There’s some big commitment that life is begging you to make. Forget the pro/con lists, the endlessly asking your friends what they think while they gripe about your indecision in the other group chat, and the half-seriously reading horoscopes for some kind of sign: it’s time to say ‘screw it’ and just go with your gut. We only get this one, short life, and spending it agonizing about how the future might unfold rather than actually living that future is, to put it politely, stupid. I, however, will not be taking this advice, and will continue to waffle on every decision that faces me to the point of paralysis (I call them Eggo-stential crises).
Virgo, The Sun: The past few years have been a bit of a slog for you, Virgo. You’re known for being a hard worker, but that starts to feel a lot less effortless when the things you’re working for never seem to materialize. I’m here to tell you 2025 will be different. The card I pulled for you was the Sun: warm, golden, bringing life and joy and an elevated risk of melanoma to everyone it touches. Opportunities are going to present themselves, fortunate coincidences will pop up like irregular moles, and it’ll just be an unusually lucky 365 days overall, as the universe endorses all your efforts. Enjoy it, and (as I know you will because you’re too anxious not to), make hay while the Sun shines!
Libra, The Magician: Libra, I have bad news. You’re going on a date with a magician this year. Yes, like a rabbit-out-of-hat, coin-out-of-ear, card-out-of-deck magician. If you’re already in a committed relationship, your significant other is going to get into magic for one really annoying week because of a TikTok. Enjoy your magical connection while it lasts, but remember: a performer never loves anything as much as they love the stage (even if that stage is a third-graders’ birthday party). You will never be their top priority over chasing the smugness-high of getting to say ‘a magician never reveals their secrets’ to a curious eight-year-old, and that’s not your fault. It is your fault if you agree to go on a second date with them, though.
Scorpio, The Five of Pentacles: This is a surprisingly layered card. On the one hand, it refers to financial insecurity and struggle (that post-holiday credit card bill was rough, huh?). I’d advise you to do your taxes early if you think you can get a refund, and to avoid them if you think you can get away with it (for the sake of my own career, I’d like to draw the reader’s attention to the fact that I said avoid, not evade. I paid attention in Income Tax!). The other layer to this card is that the struggle is not the whole picture. Although things may be rocky financially, if you take a breather, you’ll realize that the other things in your life, like your friends, family, pet rock, etc., are all that you really need. I know, I know, you’d rather have the shinies, but at least pretend to be grateful while people are looking.
Sagittarius, Ace of Swords: Ace of Swords sounds like a sick Ren-faire rock band name, and that’s pretty much the vibe you can expect this year. Are Ren faires moderately-to-very cringy? Yes. Is it still fun as hell to drink a pint of mead, tear a chunk off a turkey leg, and watch a guy dressed in inaccurate period garb make a falcon fly in circles? Also yes! This year is all about being yourself, no matter what onlookers might think. And I promise, if you bring your authenticity A-game this year, you’ll have even more fun than the falcon guy. I know, I know, how could anyone possibly have more fun than the falcon guy? Just trust me, it’s in the cards (card) for you this year. And if my online wildlife dealings proceed according to plan, a falcon is in the cards for me.
Capricorn, Ten of Cups: The ten of cups often signifies emotional satisfaction, family harmony, yada yada. I see a much more literal interpretation for you, Capricorn. Some Thursday this year, you are going to have a crazy night at Call to the Bar. A night you’ll recall with fond anxiety at your bar character assessment, a night that will change Faculty policy on allowing SLS to schedule these events, a night that will serve as a warning for generations of 1Ls to come. I’ll add the necessary disclaimers about imbibing responsibly, but don’t forget that well-behaved law students rarely make history (or the front page of Ultra Vires!).
Aquarius, Judgement: The judgement card can signify a reunion, the decisive moment of an old relationship either thriving or withering for good. In your case, either an ex will come crawling back into your life, or a friend you’ve lost touch with will ask to catch up over coffee, because they don’t know your New Year’s Resolution was to stop drinking coffee, because you haven’t talked in months. Either way, I recommend that you think deeply about whether you want to welcome this person back into your life. Tending the garden of your community is important, but sometimes, weeds need to be whacked for flowers to grow.
Pisces, The Chariot: The chariot card can signify overcoming obstacles through discipline and self-determination. Since we all know discipline isn’t your strong suit, Pisces, I’m picturing a different interpretation of this card for you: you’re going to get a speeding ticket sometime this year. Due to the aforementioned dubious relationship with discipline, I’m not going to get on a high horse and tell you to drop the horsepower. Instead, I’ll just recommend that you keep your registration handy and maybe rely on Waze a little extra this year, to help avoid getting bahnned from the autobahn.