A school year ends, and a summer is born
Ah, the end of another law school year. The sun’s shining later into the evening, the buds on the trees are just beginning to unfurl, and gentle breezes off the lake tease us with the warmth of summer. Don’t get too excited about our collective seasonal affective disorder melting with the last of the March snows, however: we still have to survive exams. Want to know what you have to look forward to this summer, assuming you make it through April? Read on to find out.
Aries: Oh, Aries, I have exciting news for you. Spring is generally pretty romantic—flowers are blooming, birds are nesting, and singles are re-downloading Hinge to rally for yet another hot girl/rat boy summer. But your spring and summer will be the most romantic of all. You’re going to be laid low by a big, fat, heart-eyes crush this summer, the kind that makes you want to listen to 80s power ballads and imagine little scenarios while you’re falling asleep about your beloved stumbling across your Goodreads profile and falling head over heels for your excellent taste. I know that a crush can be painfully bittersweet, but try to enjoy this feeling. As I read somewhere that I can’t remember (I think some celebrity’s comment on Instagram? Citation needed), feeling like you’re dying is a good indicator that you’re really living.
Taurus: Hey Taurus, have I ever told you how cool I think you are? I just love hanging with you and generally being in your proximity. Completely unrelated, your horoscope for this summer indicates only one thing with certainty: you’re going to host a rager. Whether you’re forced into it by a friend, or whether it’s by your own initiative, at some point this summer you’re going to find yourself asking your condo concierge how to book your building’s party room. Hosting can be stressful, but I would encourage you to lean into hosting this event with your trademark Taurus generosity and determination. A truly great party can be the source of a lifetime of inside jokes, stories, and happily hazy memories. If you take the opportunity the universe will hand you this summer, you’ll go down in friend group history as the host of all time, even topping your one friend who hosted that themed Severance finale watch party complete with melon bar.
Gemini: I’ve got a warning for you, Gemini. This summer, you’re going to have to square up against a friend. You’ve both been holding onto some grievances, and tensions will heat up enough in the mugginess of summer to bring matters to a head. I know you’re generally alright with conflict, but disagreeing with a close friend can shake even the most contentious among us. The best reassurance I can offer you is that this conflict is justified and necessary, and you’ll resolve it, for better or for worse, by Labour Day. Your relationship with your opponent will be permanently changed, either bringing you two closer than ever, or putting some distance between you for the first time in a while. Don’t feel bad if it’s the latter. Sometimes you need space to figure out how close you actually want someone to be.
Cancer: You’re going to come to a big realization this summer, Cancer. As the months slip by, it’s going to slowly dawn on you that the work you’re doing is not what you’ve been put on this earth to do. Now, don’t panic if you’ve landed a job at a firm or clinic you’re really excited about. This doesn’t mean you need to drop out of law school and take up goat herding in the wilds of remote Saskatchewan. Rather, this is your sign to think more deeply about the work you want to do. Maybe the firm you wound up at is a perfect fit, but you’re actually destined to be in a different practice group than you initially thought you’d like. Or, if you have an unusual amount of soul for a U of T law student, maybe you got a big firm job and this summer you’ll realize you were actually born to be a public defender. Either way, don’t panic. Life is so long, and it would be so dull if we could never expect the unexpected. Just keep an open mind.
Leo: Let’s goooo, Leo! You might have the best horoscope of the bunch. This summer will be a Leo summer. You’re going to figure out how to get on a boat. You’re going to be downing tequila and/or Sobrii shots left, right, and centre. You’re going to be wearing shorts or skirts that will display a generous, dare I even say distasteful, amount of thigh. You might even wear SPF 15 instead of 30—you’re so bad. I have no advice for you other than to stay hydrated and keep your phone charged. Make this a summer to make Oscar Wilde proud, and live lots of stories that you won’t tell your future kids about until they’re adults themselves and you can all be cool about stuff.
Virgo: While not everyone would find this to be the most exciting horoscope, it’s right up your alley, Virgo! This summer, you’re going to discover a new hobby or side-hustle that you will hyperfixate on to the exclusion of pretty much everything else. Something tells me it will be something along the lines of learning to knit or running a sourdough microbakery from your home, but the sky’s the limit. Use the extra time you’ll have this summer to allow yourself to enjoy doing something just because you want to. If you stick with it, this hobby or side hustle could grow into more than you ever dreamed—like maybe actually finishing knitting a scarf for the first time in your life!
Libra: My main takeaway for you, Libra: invest in some AirTags this summer. You’re going to lose something, or many things, repeatedly. This isn’t even a metaphoric loss, either: you’re literally just going to constantly misplace stuff like your keys, your wallet, your phone, and so on. It’s going to get to a point where the people you live with will be genuinely annoyed about how much you’re asking them for help scrounging through the couch cushions and standing in silence to listen for your ringtone. Tangentially, might I recommend locking in on your general life organization this summer? If you can build better routines for keeping your stuff together, it’ll pay dividends even beyond the sure-to-be-chaotic next few months.
Scorpio: As a deeply nosy person, I am very envious of your summer ‘scope, Scorpio (nice, alliteration). At some point between now and September, you’re going to uncover a deliciously juicy secret. It might relate to your workplace, it might relate to your friends, or it could even be about your family, but whatever it is, it is tea. It’ll be up to your judgement whether to share what you’ve learned or not, but I’d recommend that you err on the side of caution. I know there’s no better feeling in the world than starting a conversation with ‘I have some gossip’, but remember, you can’t put toothpaste back in the barn once you let it out of the bag, or whatever. Make sure you’re yapping for good, if and when the moment comes.
Sagittarius: Get ready to be annoying on Instagram, Sag—you’re going to be doing a lot of travelling this summer! Even if you don’t currently have any international plans, you’ll end up doing a lot of little local jaunts and road trips. This is just as well, since you’ll be in need of some breathing room and time for reflection over the next few months. Life during the school year is hectic and hardly leaves any time to step back and strategize about the big picture. And while travel isn’t always chill, being somewhere new and adopting a different routine for a bit can help you realize what you can and can’t live without in your regular life. They say a rolling stone gathers no moss, but I disagree. I like to think that rolling stones get really good at knowing and honouring their highest priorities, like rolling down hills and being built into walls!
Capricorn: It can be hard to make new friends in adulthood, but this summer, that won’t be a problem for you, Capricorn. You know that moment in every guy in your middle schools’ favourite movie, Step Brothers, where they go ‘did we just become best friends’? You’re going to have basically that exact same moment at some point in the next few months. You’re going to meet someone who’s going to become a lifelong pal, as long as you open yourself up to the opportunity. Say yes to invites, strike up conversations where you normally wouldn’t. Once you find this person, you’ll become pretty much platonically inseparable until fall. This person is destined to become the salt to your pepper, the Frodo to your Samwise, the New York to your JD/MBA. I might suggest investing in some beads for the friendship bracelets you’ll be imminently making—your local Swiftie should have a good supply!
Aquarius: While your horoscope may not be as rewarding as Capricorn’s, it’ll definitely be more interesting! Between now and next term, you’re going to make a brand new enemy. Maybe they’ll make a mean joke about your friend, maybe you’ll spill coffee on them. Either way, you’re going to begin a long-term social cold war against each other that could last years. While it’s no fun to be disliked, I know how you can take advantage of this situation. My recommendation? Start a series Spy vs. Spy-style escalating hijinks against each other until you realize your fixation is actually derived from your deep latent desires for one another. From there, I’ll leave it up to you!
Pisces: You’re not normally one for dramatic changes to your appearance: you’re just a chill guy. You’ve been burned by previous attempts to switch things up and have the photos hidden from your Facebook profile to prove it. But this summer, the stars will align just right for you to give yourself the makeover you’ve been mulling over for a while. The one thing you have to remember, Pisces, is that it all depends on you. If you slouch and fidget and ask too many people if they like the new look, it’s going to go over like a lead balloon. But, if you walk with pride, stick your chin out, and make it clear that you don’t care whether anyone else likes it or not, people will be impressed both with your new look and your new vibe. Say it with me: the best accessory is confidence. The second best accessory? Propeller hat.