Jessy Van Kooten (2L)
This time of year, many of us are reflecting on our future careers. Are we making the right decisions? What can we do if the day ever comes where we decide to leave the practice of law? Here are eight extremely unhelpful suggestions for possible alternative career choices if that day ever does come.
Ultimate Fighting Champion
Like Pete Becker from Friends, you’ve mastered the business world and you’ve mastered the legal world. Now it’s time to master the physical world. Become the Ultimate Fighting Champion.
Doctor
It’s never too late to go to medical school and actually make your parents proud. Bonus: the coveted Doctor/Lawyer combo will surely be a big hit at dinner parties.
Politician
I used to think this was only an option for the truly noble, those who selflessly devote themselves to public service and have mastered the qualities of empathy and leadership. Turns out, it takes a lot less—start nonsensical rants on Twitter and you’ll be well on your way!
Building Namer
This one is a well-kept secret of a career choice. Do you think the various wings, classrooms, study rooms, and locker areas of our law school named themselves? Edit: on second thought, it appears that they may have.
Financial Advisor
Not the kind that helps people save money or invest but, from personal experience, the kind who helps people learn to spend money they don’t have on things they don’t need.
Food Critic
Our legal education has actually prepared us well for this one. Is anyone’s palate better tuned to discern the value of a free lunch than that of a law student? I, for one, can tell the difference between Pizza Pizza, Pizza Pizza, Pizzaiolo, and Pizza Pizza with my eyes closed.
Board Member
Who knew this was an option until taking Biz Org? Turns out, in a lot of cases, it really isn’t that much work and pays pretty well. All you have to do is make a “reasonable” effort to attend periodic meetings. Sign me up!
Reality TV Star
All you have to be is interesting, dramatic, and likeable (law students typically go at least one-for-three on those). Bonus: lots of people already don’t like lawyers, making that always recurring “villain” role an easy snag.
