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In Cannabis Veritas

17/10 blaze it

For the first time in living memory, smoking cannabis is legal in Canada. Right now, you can go to www.OCS.ca and buy weed from the Ontario government. And you should. If you are a law student, then you must already be intimately acquainted with the dizzied frenzy of preoccupation. Weed has this magical way of dissolving preoccupation.

As comedian Katt Williams once observed, “[t]here is a chemical called weed that’s called ‘fuckit’, and if you can just get that in yo’ system, it can change yo’ life.” If you are ready to change your life, then keep reading. I have gathered recommendations from some of the most knowledgeable sources at the law school, to help you find a strain that’s right for you.

[Editor’s Note: sources have been anonymized, because of the legal implications of their recommendations.]

Dankenstein

If you, like me, grew up listening to rap, then you will probably have heard of Purple Kush. This pure indica strain apparently emerged from Oakland, California, where its heavy smoke dances to HBK Gang baselines. Purple Kush now enjoys broad popularity, because of its powerful, narcotic effects.

If you want to slip slowly and giddily into the warm and velvety depths of corporeal numbness, Purple Kush’s high tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) content can do that for you. I have found that toking before bed quiets an unsettled mind and makes my sleep more solid.

Raw Purple Kush has an intoxicating aroma. It is this pungent musk, an earthy dankness, offset by nutty mid-notes, and topped by an almost sickly sweetness. That sweetness vanishes as you smoke it, giving way to rich and rounded flavours of dark chocolate, leather, oak, and spices like cinnamon and ginger, not entirely unlike a Montecristo No. 1.

Indeed, high quality Purple Kush is easily as flavourful and smooth as a premium cigar, but it has a less domineering aftertaste, and it gets you high.

The Ontario Cannabis Store does not presently sell Purple Kush, but I am confident that it soon will. Expect it to sell for upward of $12 per gram.

Kanna-Kween

Now that cannabis is legal, it is time to normalize the discussion around recreational cannabis use. But even if you are ready to take the plunge (or the puff), where do you start? Well, get ready to learn, because the Kanna-Kween is coming in hot with a review sure to enlighten the senses.

Preferences for strains are like preferences for wine. Where one person may prefer a sweeter wine over a drier one, some people, such as myself, prefer low THC content and a higher cannabidiol (CBD) content over the inverse.

The effects of a low THC percentage will be more physical, leaving you with a clearer mind and ready to sleep, and, honestly, ready AF to get your snack game on. With a good indica, you’ll be forgetting about the confusion of torts and fantasizing about tortes instead. Popcorn and grapes are also super good.

Although it is not currently available through the OCS (@JustinTrudeau, can I put in a formal request!?), Bubba Kush is definitely “high up” on my list of favourite indicas (so many puns, so little time). If your neck is sore from being in a permanent ninety-degree angle, looking down at your textbook, or if your shoulders are tight from the law-student slouch, then this strain is “highly” recommended.

But remember folks, everything in moderation. We need our brains to stay sharp and motivated in case we have to argue future constitutional cases on recreational cannabis regulation. Save this one for a lazy Sunday, or for before bed.

Toast Factory

Do you hate having to keep puffing to maintain your high? Does the idea of vaping make you feel like hipster trash? Then do I have a solution for you: edibles! My most recent green goodie came in the form of chocolate chip cookies, made by yours truly. The special ingredient came from homemade cannabutter created from Blue Mystic, a potent indica strain combining the best parts of Blueberry and Northern Lights, to give you a relaxing, happy high.

Unaltered, Blue Mystic has a musky, sweet scent. Baked into cookies, the scent virtually vanishes, especially with the addition of savoury or complex flavours such as salt flakes or toffee. Within forty minutes to an hour of imbibing, you can expect to feel giggly and gleeful. This eventually mellows out into an easily sustained, laid-back high. Suggested pairings include: wavy potato chips and dip, chocolate, milky Korean popsicles, or pretty much anything in your pantry or fridge. With delivery services constantly expanding their offerings, you can rest assured that your cravings won’t go unsatisfied.The OCS does not yet include Blue Mystic in their offerings, but after reading this review, I’m sure they soon will. Expect it to fetch about $14.00 per gram, but close friends get cookies for free.


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