Totally real news from around the law school
University Bans Written Materials
The University of Oxford has implemented a policy banning written materials in the classroom, citing an erosion of the oral tradition. Not to be outdone, the University of Cambridge has banned all use of language entirely in an effort to revitalize the pheromone-based communication systems of the past.
Crowdfunding Campaign Started for Ben Barrett (1L)
Barrett, the recently self-appointed VP, Vending Machines for the law school, has started a crowdfunding campaign for himself after spending what remained of his life savings on every flavour of pop at the new vending machine. When asked if it was worth it, he said “it was the best $23.75 I ever spent—I get to add ‘VP’ to my email signature now. Economically, it comes down to less than $12 per letter. What a steal!” No word yet if he also plans on enrolling in the JD/MBA.
Missed Connections, Follies Edition.
Me: A 1L who had never attended Follies expecting a quiet night at the theatre.
You: A 3L passed out by the bar midway through Act I.
You: A noted member of the faculty with a penchant for ad-libbing.
Me: A student called-out by name during Follies.
In Memoriam: The Wheel of Grading (Feb 2 – 7, 2019).
You were a 6’ novelty wheel constructed of cardboard, duct tape, construction paper, and love. Twenty hours of labour for a thirty-second joke. Cruelly taken from us too soon. You will spin forever in our hearts.
Photos (top) by Rory Smith (2L) and (bottom) Lawrence Veregin (’18).
