…literally
Ah, the sweet smell of germs in the air, the harmonious symphonies of sniffles and coughs, and the beautiful sight of trash cans overflowing with used tissues. Welcome back to my favourite time of year—flu season.
As if crushing student debt, existential crises, and imposter syndrome wasn’t enough, law students also have to account for their health rapidly declining precisely when the workload ramps up.
Since the majority of us spend basically all our time in the Jackman Law Building, let us explore how some of our favourite features of the building are helping to cultivate the germs.
The Stress
Stress? At law school? Groundbreaking. But that’s right everyone, the ever-present fear of being cold-called on the ONE day you forgot to do your readings, or the panic you feel when you realize at 11:00 pm that you forgot to read the additional 50 pages the prof briefly assigned five minutes before the end of class can really take its toll on your physical and mental health. Stress can significantly weaken the immune system, which makes you even more susceptible to the various flu strains running rampant in the student population.
The (so-called) Kitchen
We have approximately 600 students, whose diverse culinary needs depend on a grand total of one fridge and three microwaves. I don’t mean to panic anyone, but you can do the math. While not a medical expert, I can confidently say that those microwaves are naaaaaasty. On the 9th of October, a lone cholera vaccine was seen literally just chilling in the fridge. Is the kitchen cleaned regularly? Has it ever been cleaned? By who? How old are these microwaves? I have many questions about the microwaves and (unfortunately) no answers.
The Diets
So apart from microwaved leftovers, sometimes us sad, broke students can also look forward to the nutritionally balanced and delicious free food served by the law school and its various student societies. However, reality often does not match up to our expectations.
Riddle me this—how many slices of Pizza Pizza can a person eat before their organs mutiny due to the lack of nutrients? The answer is exactly one sad little pepperoni slice, served in that sadly all-too-familiar bright orange cardboard box.
The Handouts
When a stack of 20 highly relevant and educational pieces of paper are passed around by 15 pairs of snotty, unwashed hands, it is inevitable that germs get spread around the room. Bonding within your small group is always encouraged, but methinks that cultivating a shared microbiome is going too far.
So if you see me around the law school still sniffling in two weeks, please know that these factors are all the ways my education is making me sick. These are all torts, and this will definitely be admissible and highly persuasive evidence in court.