Dean Snaccabucci wows students with pasties at Yak’s Snacks
Due to an unfortunate misunderstanding, students left this month’s Yak’s Snacks with more than they bargained for.
Expecting homemade Cornish pasties, students were surprised when none of the delicious baked goods arrived as promised, but were instead treated to a risqué burlesque performance by the Dean.
Said one student: “not what I was expecting when they said there would be pasties at Yak’s Snacks, but honestly, it was a well-rehearsed routine while still being tasteful enough to be performed at 10:00am in the law school atrium.”
At time of press, the Dean’s Office was too busy completing a remedial course on homophones to comment.
Ultra Vires editors flummoxed to learn no one actually enters sixteen-digit URLs
After putting an ad out in the November issue of UV, exactly two people have responded to the recruit surveys, which were found at forms.gle/i2Ujr27ZYcSgtiCGA and forms.gle/geBSsfuqXbK94jsj9.
When questioned, one editor said, “I thought if my computer-generated password was easy enough to remember, then surely people would remember the quick link”. That same editor also confessed to calling 0118 999 881 999 119 7253 for emergency services.
In other news, Ultra Vires recently fired its monkeys running the web division and put out a call for an online editor. Applicants are encouraged to apply at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ.
Also, editors recently discovered the magic of URL forwarding.
Professor Albert Yoon opens Legal Ethics class with case study about recycling past exams
Students were frustrated by the first reading in Professor Yoon’s legal ethics class. The assigned reading consisted of a fictional Professor Alfred Loon who reused a past exam for his first-year Legal Process course. Students were also presented with a hypothetical where Professor Loon changed the parties’ names in the second half of the exam.
Students were asked to assess the ethical considerations not in recycling exam questions, but in having the audacity to raise these complaints to Professor Loon’s supervisor.
Students were also asked not to assess whether it was ethical for the faculty to raise Professor Loon’s salary from $278,665.19 to $288,992.08 (+3.71%) after the incident, and not whether it was ethical for Professor Loon to assume an associate dean-ship, but whether it was ethical at all for students to raise these issues. Students who flagged the separate issue of professorial negligence were penalized for “straying from the issues”. When students complained about this, the faculty agreed to mark their exam on a separate curve.
Professor Loon, when reached for comment, only said “QUACK!” To whom he was referring was not immediately clear.
