xoxo, Influencer Girl
6 a.m.: Wake up. Haha just kidding! #Influencers need their beauty sleep. There’s a reason we chose the #influencer life instead of, like… law school.
10 a.m.: Like, actually wake up. Read through the hundreds of emails begging for brand deals with UV. Respond to whichever ones offer the editorial team free food. We just hit 100 followers on Instagram, we’re a big deal now.
10:30 a.m.: Skincare time! As an #influencer for such a famous newspaper, glowing skin is a must. No St. Ives Apricot scrub here! I use some of the dozens of free promo products sent to UV each month #notspon #gifted.
11 a.m.: Read through our thousands of Instagram and Twitter DMs over brunch. Nothing better than piping hot tea with an eggs-benny! Sometimes, I even respond when our adoring followers send messages. We luv our fans <3 #goodvibes.
12 p.m.: #MeetingTime! Gotta stay up to date with all of the celebrity sightings, events, and scandals around the Faculty of Law. Vehemently Google any and all legal lingo that comes up. How is an #influencer supposed to know what things like “judicial interference” and “cognomos” mean?
2 p.m.: Scroll through TikTok. Gotta get our social media #inspo! Maybe post a tweet or two promo-ing new articles to our fans as a quick break from the #fyp.
3 p.m.: Scroll through TikTok. Definitely still need more #inspo! Plot to make UV as much of a TikTok #icon as Paper Magazine.
4 p.m.: Scroll through TikTok. The line of aesthetically pleasing bread-baking videos never ends. Contemplate shifting UV to a #cottagecore gossip magazine.
5 p.m.: After a quick email about a potential #collab, it’s time for a well-deserved nap. The constant adoring messages can get tiring, ya know?
6 p.m.: Dinner! I like to make any of the recipes written by UV’s #notspon lovely writers, or get delivery from any of our #notspon favourite spots, like the ones listed in this issue.
7 p.m.: Spend two hours attempting to take aesthetically pleasing photos of socially-distanced law school chairs. Anything for the #gram!
8 p.m.: Scroll through TikTok… or maybe YouTube? Might even scroll through TikTok while I have a YouTube video playing!
12 a.m.: Bedtime! Thanks for reading, and don’t forget to smash that #follow button on Instagram @ultravires.ca and Twitter @ultravires, xoxo <3.
