Ultra Vires has taken the liberty to write a practice hypothetical to help you prep for exams!
It seems like every professor has decided to use the COVID-19 pandemic as the basis for their hypotheticals this year and so Ultra Vires has decided to write a slightly different fact pattern. To any professors reading this, feel free to use this example. In fact, we encourage it!
The following fact pattern takes place in Falconer, the capital city of the province of Flavelle. Flavelle has laws identical to Ontario.
In recent months, Falconer’s friendly resident trash pandas have become quite the problem. People across the city have been clogging up 911 and 311 with reports of raccoon-related crimes. First, Molly McLachlin was working in a local Tim Hortons when a gang of raccoons broke through the ceiling and stole all the apple fritters! Ms. McLachlin could not get an ID on any of the thieves, but she did say they were all dressed like bandits with black bands over their eyes.
That same night, Robby Rowe was awoken by a ruckus in his garage. Armed with an intimidating umbrella, he approached the garage and prepared to fight the intruders. Inside was a group of raccoons setting up an apartment in his rafters! They already had a couple of little beds prepared and a full raccoon kitchen (a.k.a. a bag of half-eaten McDonalds). A few days later, Robby noticed a new listing on Craigslist: “2 bedroom loft for rent in the heart of the city with a beautiful view of Robby Rowe’s backyard. $2000/month.”
A couple weeks later, Willie Wagner was enjoying the spring sunshine outside on his patio when he heard a terrible racket from the tree above. He looked up and couldn’t believe what he saw: a band of raccoons practicing their set! The music was cranked up to the max and Willie could hardly hear himself think. Unsurprisingly, the critters were playing “Rocky Raccoon.”
Next, Karen Karakastanis decided to put her basement apartment on Airbnb and came to an agreement with a user to stay for a week. When Karen checked out the basement after the guests left, she found the apartment completely wrecked with garbage strewn everywhere and scratch marks on all of the furniture (not to mention the lack of proper toilet use). The nerve! The username of the guest was RaccoonLover4eva.
The people of Falconer have had enough and decided to file a class action lawsuit against all the raccoons in the city for their collective grievances. But wait! The raccoons of Falconer have united against these frivolous claims and launched proceedings of their own. For centuries, animals have been voiceless within the common law, deprived of standing to challenge claims and some, like raccoons, have been labeled “vermin” to justify violence against animals. No more! The raccoons have raised multiple claims of wrongful death by negligent human drivers and specifically cite an incident of false imprisonment at a certain law school.
You are the lawyer for the people of Falconer. What are the causes of action (hint: think about torts, property, and contracts) and any criminal offences? How do you respond to the countersuit by the raccoons?
Unfortunately, the Flavelle Limitations Act does not say anything about raccoon-related causes of action and so the limitation period is inapplicable to this fact pattern.
Writer’s Disclaimer: We never got to the class action section of Legal Process last semester so I don’t actually know how to commence a class action suit, but I’m assuming I’m close enough.
