Easy ideas if you’re in a pinch
Halloween is days away, and you still don’t have a costume? Have no fear, Ultra Vires (UV) is here with a dozen legal costume ideas that are guaranteed* to win you Best Dressed.
1. Cognomos
Ask all your friends what they want to do for Halloween, and then promise to maximize the spookiness of everyone’s night. Double-book some friends and “forget” to invite others out for Halloween. When your friends complain about your poor event planning, throw a graphing calculator or a Nobel prize at them.
2. Cold Calls
Wear some bags of ice (empty or full) and an old rotary phone. Repeat the affirmation “Everyone likes surprises and being put on the spot” three times to yourself before you leave the house. Crash every Halloween party you see with an unrelenting stream of Socratic questioning.
3. Affordable Law School Tuition
No one has seen you in quite some time. You were last spotted in Québec (when you were an in-province student). Skip the Halloween pub crawl for a BYOB house party—better yet, stay home and drink that sweet, sweet Toronto tap water.
4. SCOTUS’s Integrity
Cut cardboard into the shape of a tombstone and spray paint it grey. Constantly change your mind throughout the night. Don’t forget to delete all references to stare decisis in your notes before you go out.
5. Elle Woods
You already go to the Harvard of the North so you’re halfway there. Dress up in all pink (or at least red), dye your hair blonde with box dye (who can afford salon prices with U of T’s tuition?), and “borrow” a small dog to carry around in a bag.
6. My Cousin Vinny
Choose an all-black outfit that would catch you a contempt charge if worn to court. Forget 95 percent of everything you learned in Evidence Law and Legal Process (if you haven’t already). Bonus points if you keep up a Brooklyn accident all night.
7. Ingrid Yun (or anyone from Partner Track)
Do you want to make partner? Or do you feel pressured “to want to make partner”? All of the main characters on Netflix’s hottest legal drama have a keen sense of style and questionable judgment, just like you. If you’re a 2L, splurge on some real Champagne and preemptively celebrate getting a 2L summer job at Davies.
8. Saul Goodman
If you can’t cut it as a criminal lawyer, you could always be a “criminal” lawyer. Hit up Value Village to grab the most flamboyant suit you can find, and put in a rush order to Vistaprint for business cards. If you can’t do “lateral networking” while partying, you can at least do “client development.”
9. Ben Shapiro
Put on a suit and bring your thickest casebook to the Halloween party. Stay in character by reading the case book and ignoring everyone at the party. Refuse to stand near anyone who didn’t go to a T14 law school (or U of T).
10. A Legal Eagle
Grow some wings—literally or figuratively! Making your own Halloween costume is for chumps. Convince a “pre-law” student that making you a bird costume would look great on their law school application.
11. A “Law-suit”
Accept you have no personality or creativity and just wear a suit. When people ask what your costume is, swallow your shame and tell them you’re a “law-suit,” and then order a Halloween costume for next year on Alibaba.
12. A “Formal Apology”
Once again, put on a suit. But this time tape an “I’m sorry” sign on your chest that has a seal.
If you need more spooky inspiration check out UV’s list of Halloween costumes from the COVID-era, list of CDO-Approved Halloween costumes, or list of Halloween costumes from the “before times.”
*Editor’s Note: Gratuitous guarantees are unenforceable, but UV will take all the credit (and prize money) if you win a costume contest using one of our ideas.
