13 easy law-inspired Halloween Costumes
Halloween is days away, and you still don’t have a costume? Have no fear, Ultra Vires is back with its annual list of Halloween costumes that are guaranteed to kill the curve at even the spookiest of Halloween parties.
1. Lawyer Barbie
Be the real star of the Barbie movie. Dress up as Lawyer Barbie (played by Sharon Rooney in the film). Who, other than a lawyer, could have devised the plan to solve Barbie Land’s constitutional crisis?
Simply straighten your hair and put on a blue blouse, as well as a matching pastel blue blazer and skirt, to get Lawyer Barbie’s signature look. Bonus points if you wear a DIY life-sized, Barbie Doll box over your judiciously well-styled outfit.
2. Charlie Kelly (or any other licensed or “unlicensed” lawyer from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia)
Bird law in this country is not governed by reason, but you’re taking Animals and the Law and you’re going to fix it! Grab some khakis, a yellow checkered dress shirt, a green and brown tie, and some reading glasses—you’re ready for your legal career to soar!
3. Amicus (ICYMI: he’s the official mascot of the Supreme Court of Canada)
Dress up as an owl that thinks they are Santa Claus. The only people who are going to get this costume are the real legal eagles. Maybe save a photo of Amicus on your camera roll in the inevitable event that you are asked “what are you supposed to be?” After all, free Socratic dialogue is just one beak perk of this costume.
4. Elle Woods
You’re already a student at the Harvard of the North (like it’s hard?), so you’re halfway there. First, choose your Elle Woods era. Are you a young K-JD just like Elle Woods in Legally Blonde? Or are you more of a mature student who relates to Elle Woods in the upcoming Legally Blonde 3, balancing your legal career and family responsibilities? Either way, wear some pink, accessorize with more pink, and borrow your friend’s chihuahua.
5. The Lincoln Lawyer
Are your car and money your whole personality? Do you own a suit? Are you willing to take “any case, anytime, anywhere?” If you answered yes to any or all of the above, this is the costume for you! Suit up, grab your business cards, and hire a private driver for a night of “ghoulish client development.”
Budget option: Uber between your various Halloween parties and just tell other partygoers your “car is in the shop.”
6. Lady Justice
Don a flowing robe, a blindfold, a scale, and a sword. Some will say you are a platonic ideal or a bourgeois myth to keep the proletariat in their place. But who has the sword? Still you.
7. President Zelenskyy
The CDO wasn’t kidding when they said getting a JD opens countless doors. President Zelenskyy went on to be a successful comedian, actor, and wartime president after getting his law degree.
You can choose his signature dark green t-shirt and fatigue pants, or a suit. It’s okay to pay tribute to a politician fighting real authoritarianism, but please remember to be respectful.
8. Cognomos
Dress up as a robot and tell all your friends you’re going to plan a Halloween night that will maximize the group’s collective happiness. Ask your friends what they want to do on Halloween and if they have any scheduling constraints.
Immediately ignore your friends’ scheduling constraints. Double-book half of your friends to multiple, simultaneous Halloween parties. Leave huge gaps in the other half of your friends’ Halloween schedules.
Your 3L friend will complain that you planned nothing for them and this is the last time they can celebrate Halloween on a weekday because they will soon head to Bay Street. Tell them the best you can do is put them on the waitlists for multiple Halloween club events that they have no interest in attending.
9. TaxGPT
Another robot costume. This time though, offer to answer anyone’s tax questions at the party but deny you are giving out any legal advice. Don’t bother to do any legal analysis. Just scrape the internet and regurgitate the most common answers found online to the questions your partygoers pose. The most common answers must be the most authoritative, right? It’s not like tax myths circulate online anyway.
10. Amazon
It’s easy to dress up as the largest company in the world. If you’re a U of T student, you’re already enrolled in an intensive course on conflicts of interest. If you’re not, perhaps you’re a strong “supporter” of competition law research.
You can grab an oversized Amazon box and cut out holes for your head, arms, and legs. Or, if you want to show off your assets, you can stitch a bunch of Amazon bubble mailers into a slim-fitting dress.
Whatever you wear, the important thing is that you stick to your talking points at the Halloween cocktail parties. You love efficiencies, the free market, and “freedom to contract.” Quickly change the subject if “un-fun” topics like monopolies, worker classification, or privacy come up.
11. Law Review
Print off various statutes or common law rules and give them a review out of five stars in red sharpie. Add comments if desired. Wear an all-white base layer and tape or safety pin your reviewed documents onto you. It doesn’t matter if you didn’t make the U of T Faculty of Law Review—you now are Law Review! After all, if you can’t join ‘em, beat ‘em (that is the expression, right?).
12. The Reasonable Person
Exercise ordinary diligence and prudence in choosing your costume and Halloween plans. Perhaps a cricket outfit or a railway guard uniform. Dial down your intelligence to an ordinary level, suppress your idiosyncrasies and familiarize yourself with the standards of Halloween revelers.
13. Mark (or any innie from Severance)
You dream of work-life balance. You wish you could undergo Lumon Industries’ (fictional) severance procedure and sever your work life from your personal life. Unfortunately though, the science isn’t there yet. But put on some business clothes and a Lumon Industries lanyard to live out that dream.
Need more spooky inspiration? Visit ultravires.ca for more lists of Halloween costumes ideas!
