Be wary, it’s a hauntingly juicy edition.
Hiiiiiiiii Saucy,
After years of being locked up in my room studying to get into law school, I have decided that it’s finally time to LET LOOSE! Of course, I’m a newbie to this whole “partying” thing–if I’m being honest, I never attended a party in all of undergrad. In my defence, I was too busy studying for the LSAT and perfecting my 4.0 GPA! Anyways, I’ve decided to take EVERY CTTB as an opportunity to truly explore myself … and alcohol. Unfortunately, I think I had one vodka soda too many and ended up getting REMOVED from Petty Cash last Thursday. I woke up to messages from everyone I know asking if I got home safe … do you think they noticed that I was escorted out or are they just wondering how I’m doing like courteous friends would?
Sincerely,
Scared and Not Sober
Dear Scared and Not Sober,
It’s normal to feel humiliated in your current circumstances—but who can blame you, you’re a late bloomer! While most people utilized their undergraduate experience to figure out how much alcohol they can handle, you’re only just getting started. The good news is, you’re not alone either. If you look carefully (but sometimes they will straight up be in your face), you’ll witness people projectile vomiting, drunk crying over their law school crush talking to someone else, or a classmate screaming at the top of their lungs because of mixing substances. While your humiliation will probably last for the rest of your law school career, just keep telling yourself that you’re not alone! Remember these words of wisdom, carbs are your friends while drinking, do not mix vodka and tequila, and take it SLOW! It’s okay to let loose, but not every CTTB has to be an episode of Girls (or guys) Gone Wild! Save those blackouts for your closest friends.
Keep on Partying!
Dear Saucy,
I recently joined a club as a 1L executive for something that I’m really interested in! Unfortunately, it seems that the President of my club is a power-hungry tyrant that thrives on seeing us suffer. They relentlessly harass me and others on Discord, Instagram, Facebook, and somehow even found my number to text and call me. When I asked them why they were doing this, they told me that this is normal behaviour and that each club should be a 40+ hour weekly commitment and that this is what I signed up for. Is this true??? Am I supposed to be at the beck and call of my President for their every whim and receiving calls at 4 am to get their newest idea done??
Best,
Bootcamp Survivor
Hi Bootcamp Survivor,
Sadly, not all club experiences are made equal, and not all Presidents know how to handle their newfound power. Maybe they got confused and thought that club presidency entitled them to tyranny? I think that your best bet would be for you and your fellow club members (or fellow victims) to stand united and give your President a reality check. Let them know that your lives don’t revolve around them, but like most other law students, revolve around law school. If that doesn’t work, I don’t know what to tell you. You could quit, but if the club covers topics that you’re interested in, maybe you just have to suck it up and slowly plan a coup d’état.
Good Luck!
Hi Saucy,
I ended up hooking up with my law school crush! He told me not to tell anyone, because he didn’t want the “drama” that comes with law school relationships, which I totally understood! Despite my best efforts, I accidentally told my friend group after having one too many drinks. To my horror, I found out that he was sleeping with my entire friend group! I know that I should drop him, but I really like him and think that he could be the one for me. The problem is… my friends are all thinking the same thing. We’ve decided to go about this like adults and take turns being with him and letting the best woman win him over! Do you have any advice for how I can woo him?
Love,
Lustfully Deranged
Dear Lustfully Deranged,
If I’m being honest, I’m a little scared reading this. While it is normal to have a crush on one of your law school classmates, I hope that the new “norm” is not sharing lovers amongst your cohort. Even if you’re entering your mid or late 20s, I think it would be good to remind you that the love of your life doesn’t need to be from your law school. Perhaps a good old Hinge date would do you good, or maybe you could attend a group therapy session to have a professional see what’s going on with your friend group.
Seek Professional Help!
Hi Saucy,
I’ve been really disappointed to see that CTTB attendance hasn’t been that great, so I decided to take matters into my own hands and throw a party! To really set the standard, I decided to invite every single 1L, 2L, and 3L to my parents’ home in Forest Hill. To my disappointment, not a single person attended my party … even my parents and dog decided to not come home that night. Do you think my invite got lost in their DMs? Should I reach out to all 600 of the invitees to see what happened?
With sadness,
Solo Partier
Dear Solo Partier,
I understand that this is quite the devastating scenario–no one wants to hold the title of having the worst party of the year. There are so many potential reasons for your party flopping, so I’ll only contemplate a few.
Did you send the invite from your personal account, or did you accidentally use your burner? Or … this might be a sensitive question, but do people know who you are? If you’re not really known among your cohort and other years, I can see why your invite might have been ignored, no one wants to go to a random’s house.
Or maybe alcohol was the driving factor. Did you specify whether alcohol would be provided, or was it a BYOB or no alcohol situation? The latter two options may deter law students, 2Ls suffering through the recruit process don’t need to feel like they’re attending another open house.
Anyways, who’s to say why your party flopped. If you ever decide that you want to host another party, maybe co-host with a friend! At least that way, you’re guaranteed to have an attendee!
Never Give Up!