11 Profiles in Iffy Library Etiquette
The Huncher:
The huncher stares, terrified at their laptop screen, hunched over the desk, with the whole weight of their head (and the world) propped up on the hand that is running through their hair at the root. There is always an essay that is due in 15 minutes or an exam later that day. This is what panic looks like when you are in the silent zone of the library.
Playing on Phone:
This person, in contrast to the huncher, seems to never have a care in the world based on how fixated they are on their phone. The law library is apparently more comfortable for scrolling than their living room couch at home from how long they have been playing on their phone in the library. It’s a race to see what forces them to put down their phone: the eventual crush of the need to study, the closing time of the library, or the ultimate death of their phone’s battery.
Actually studying:
This person is in the library for a reason, actually studying for their classes. They’ve got the computer, they’ve got the textbook, the highlighter, and their favourite pen. They have not a care in the world except for the words of Lord Denning.
Takes up an entire table:
This person may have taken a place for everything and everything in its place a bit too literally. Their coat is flung across half the table, each textbook obviously needs its own chair, their bag must never touch the floor. There’s no spots left in the library? Well, you can’t sit there, the torts textbook needs its personal space. Be a good neighbour!
Million tabs:
This person strikes fear into the heart of your computer’s RAM. They only have one window up at a time, but it has 100 tabs. And they also have 6 other windows with the same amount. From across the room, you see their face of horror as their computer freezes and shuts down from their gluttony for websites.
Million windows:
Unlike million tabs, this person is the royalty of multitasking. They have 5 windows up, constantly switching where they’re typing or scrolling between them. It’s a true dream of efficiency for them and would be a nightmare for you. They have more familiarity with the exit full screen button than most of us have with the space bar.
Dazedly gazing at computer:
The opposite of the huncher, this person has not a care in the world about whatever is on their computer. It somehow doesn’t matter, there is no trouble in the world in their minds or on their screen.
5 Devices:
They’ve got the desktop computer, and the laptop, and the phone, and the iPad, and for good measure, another laptop. They came here to do battle with whatever problem troubles them and they brought an army of technology. The amount of devices is more suitable for a computer science major than a law student, but they are here anyway. Let’s see if they get kicked out on November 17th as a true test of their law student identity.
Stares out window:
Little did I know, but you can apparently learn more law by staring out onto Philosopher’s Walk than you can in actually looking at your textbook. This student certainly thinks so! You see, the breeze blowing through the tree branches gives them insight into property law, that us mere mortals can only dream of gaining. The coloured leaves on the ground whisper secrets about the nature of constitutional law while the paving stones are experts in property.
Wandering the stacks:
There must be something in the records of the Yukon legislature that they need to find, yet they never find it. They just keep wandering…wandering…wandering…
Stretches every 5 seconds:
This person can never get comfortable. First, their arms need to be stretched. Actually, it was their shoulders, which they proceed to roll dramatically. Then they have to crack their knuckles, then neck, then back. Then they have to change their sitting position. Oops! Now it’s time to stretch their arms again. If they had to wear judicial robes, they would look like a deranged, flapping raven.