Point
Matt Brown
According to the 2012 UV Recruitment Survey, the average 2L is about a 7.5 on the universal attractiveness scale. 1/3 of respondents pronounced themselves an 8! Who knew we went to school with 190 Channing Tatums? According to ourselves, U of T Law is about .5 better looking than the Constance Billard School. Um, hello Hollywood! We’ve got your next eating discording-inducing teen drama right here!
You would think U of T law would be a Ryan gosling-esque meme by now.
Real talk for a second: if the attrativeness scale is between 1 and 10, the average should be 5.5. Now since LSAT score and attractiveness are inversely proportional, I would say this school probably sits around a 4.5.
Doesn’t that make intuitive sense to you? Can you imagine if U of T Law was full of smokeshows? If that were true this school’s social scene wouldn’t be built on crippling self-doubt and binge drinking. Oh, and also abstinence. (My last shred of self-confidence rests on the presumption that none of you are having sex.)
Speaking of pub nights, this is an actual fact: the darker the bar, the more sex that is had. In other words, we are a school of double baggers.
Also, if we were as gorgeous as we seem to think we are, pretty sure some Osgoode people would have talked to us at the joint pub night instead of backing away slowly while firing up ok cupid on their phones.
I remember a few weeks ago I was heading to pub night with some of the most attractive men in law school (we were coming from a UV meeting, obvi). Ahead of us were three very…talented young women.
“The Ryerson event is right around the corner,” the hostess told them.
Without thinking, perhaps out of sheer joy and fascination, we started walking in that same direction.
“Um, guys,” the hostess said in a surprisingly panicked tone while side-stepping over to block our path. “The law party is in the basement.”
(By the way, contrary to popular belief, the SLS does not book pub nights. Once a few of us show up at a bar, everyone else tends to clear out pretty quick.)
The point is, MPG may be the last person in the city to harbour any illusions about our attractiveness. And maybe the quality of his persuasive writing has just taken a precipitous dive, but it sounds to me like he’s on the fence about the whole thing.
Maybe we used to be hot. It’s easy to imagine you guys, care free undergrads at “Ivey,” surviving on nothing but sushi and Belmonts and basically slaying at Jim Bob’s. But two years of only venturing into the light to play McDonalds monopoly have taken their toll. Not to mention the crows’ feet that come from wincing at Robbie Santia’s questions in Family Law.
Counterpoint
Michael Robert
Matt Brown suggests that UT Law students are not as hot as they purport to be.
I disagree – I think they’re effing dazzling.
How else to explain why, when I sit at the centre tables in Bora, I am constantly looking up as good-looking people walk by me? I even look up when not-good-looking people walk by me, because I am so conditioned to expect my classmates to be good-looking.
How else to explain why Stalkerbook (aka the online Student Directory) drives approximately 97% of all traffic to the Faculty’s website? We wouldn’t be constantly checking out our classmates if they were average.
And finally, how else to explain why UT Law students get so many jobs?
Sorry, Matt’s self-confidence. Luke Gill once had sex during law school. By extrapolating from this data set I can prove that everyone else is doing it like rabbits. Really nice-looking rabbits, with lustrous fur and healthy teeth.
Matt Brown is shown above. I think it’s fair to say that he’s an average UT Law student. Plenty of our classmates are better-looking but plenty are also worse-looking. On the whole though, Matt is still a very handsome man. It’s not at all a stretch to call him a 7.5.
Applying his impressive knowledge of statistics from his undergraduate English degree, Matt would probably tell you he’s a 5.5 – the midpoint on a 1 to 10 scale. How could he be a 7.5 he might say, given the statistical pre-eminence of normal distribution models and the unlikelihood that a 600-person law school’s looks would skew so high above the mean?
Allow me to explain.
Many legit scientific studies have shown that looks and intelligence are highly correlated. As UT Law only accepts the smartest students, it must therefore also accept the best-looking ones. On a related note, studies have also shown that an equally weighted assessment of undergraduate GPA and LSAT percentile scores is a perfect proxy for intelligence.
Also, as Matt noted, Robbie Santia studies here. He is one of the most indescribably attractive men I know. (I literally can’t describe what makes him attractive.) Two people rated themselves above 10 on the UV survey (11 and 12, respectively). If (as I suspect) Robbie was the 12, I don’t know who could claim to be 92% as good-looking.
UT Law cultivates a culture of excellence: excellence in learning, excellence in teaching, excellence in transition spaces and excellence in looks. As an anonymous member of the Admissions Committee confided, “Yes we do Facebook creep every applicant and yes we do assign 10 point scale-style ratings.”
All the evidence points to hotness, Matt’s liberal use of Urban Dictionary notwithstanding. I agree with him on one point though – there are def some lookers in UV.
Beauty is intimidating – Ok cupid less so.
