The first in a series
Contracts:
This is a 3 hour, closed-book examination. You may not consult any materials.
Agatha’s nephew, Bjorn, is a boring loser. He is 27, lives in his mother’s basement, plays video games, and talks about them as though they are real life. At family gatherings, he mansplains things like HVAC to his female cousins, who barely tolerate him twice a year. He has been known to act out full episodes from Game of Thrones to people he has just met. His mother, Agatha’s sister, Cordelia, is at her wit’s end, but she has been unable to help Bjorn to become less of a douchenozzle.
After the family Christmas party, when it became obvious to Agatha that no one in her right mind would ever voluntarily spend time with Bjorn, Agatha suggested that she offer Bjorn a reward for becoming less of an asshat. Agatha was the family moneybags, and Cordelia readily agreed. Agatha offered Bjorn $10 000 and a stick of deodorant, and in exchange, he would shut up, get a job, and do his own laundry. In addition, he would not be allowed to mention anything that takes place in Middle Earth for a period of five years.
Bjorn signed the contract, which took immediate effect. From January to June, Agatha called Cordelia periodically to see how the improvement project was going. Cordelia told her “It’s like night and day! He occasionally stops talking, and I think I actually saw him buy his own toilet paper last week!” Encouraged, Agatha forwarded $10 000 to Bjorn on June 20th, and left a stick of deodorant on his unmade bed.
When the family Canada Day party came around, everyone met at Cordelia’s house. They were pleasantly surprised to see that Bjorn was largely silent. The project seemed to have been a success, so Agatha and Cordelia stepped onto the porch to down a well-deserved fifth of bourbon. Suddenly, from inside the house, they heard Bjorn’s unmistakeable braying: “But SAURON rules Mordor!” Cordelia looked at her sister and said: “I give up. I have to burn my house down.” The sisters destroyed her house forthwith. Cordelia has been living with Agatha since July 1st, and Bjorn has been travelling using the $10 000 and claims that he smells funny because he never found the deodorant that Agatha left on his bed.
Questions
1. Advise Bjorn. Bear in mind that it will be almost impossible to get a word in edgewise, so your word limit is 14 words. Use relevant case law to support your claim. You should assume that Agatha and Cordelia are now alcoholics, and that Bjorn’s female cousins have unfriended him on Facebook (one of them even changed her last name.)
2. Same as question 1, but assume that Sauron does not, in fact, rule Mordor.
3. Does Agatha have a claim against Céline Dion?
